Saturday, June 12, 2010

Raising the Huntress


When I was a little girl, I loved catching frogs, fishing and hunting turkeys with my Dad.

We had many swamps in our area and I can remember spending hours hunting and catching frogs with the boys in my neighborhood. Some called me a "tomboy". I loved being with boys, because I was able to connect with a masculine side of myself.

I wanted to be a mechanic as a young girl. I dreamt of being a race car driver too and felt that I could bring to light how skillful women could be on the racetrack and working on engines. To this day the skills that I learned back then pursuing my interests have helped me in so many ways a mother and woman. I am so glad that I had parents to nurture this side of myself so many years ago.

Recently, my daughters have shared a desire that our culture may view as "masculine". Tiff wants to hunt frogs almost every single day. She becomes very focused on the thrill of hunting and catching frogs, and snakes and I can feel how much this meets a real need within her!

Hunting is the first thing she has mentioned when she wakes up and the last thing she talks about as she is falling asleep lately. The "Thrill of the Hunt", is something that many girls instinctually feel coursing through their veins.

Yesterday, I brought my daughters "froggin", as I lovingly called it as a child. We hunted frogs for hours around a local pond. We listened as they called each other and discussed the difference between bullfrogs and little pond frogs. I passed on my knowledge about stillness and stealth, and tapped into a side of who I am that was virtually forgotten living in a time in my life where Peace for life leads my inner-being.

My daughters, like many girls, deeply want to connect with their primal roots of hunting. Women have a quiet, respectful way with this sport that few men can understand or appreciate. As a little girl, I always caught more frogs than than the boys whom I hunted with. I had a quiescent way about me that was able to surprise the frogs. The boys in my life were always impressed with my skills, and this is something that I proudly pass down to my girls today as their interest is at its peak.

Honoring a side of ourselves as women to hunt, dominate and catch prey isn't something we should be afraid or embarrassed of. Sharing information with my daughters about a largely male-dominated sport was very empowering. In the same way that I honor my sons desire to cook, sew and garden, I honor my daughters desire to hunt and catch frogs, fish and other creatures.

The desire to hunt is part of Who They Are and it is something that I am learning to celebrate as it is the epitome of Balance in a culture that wants us to lean to either the masculine or the feminine.

Early on in my daughters new interest, I asked myself, "Is hunting peaceful?" I have come to realize that the epitome of Peace for me, is honoring my childrens individuality without judgement. It is my role to respect and facilitate all that they are passionate about and help them reach the depths of Who They Are through respecting their choices.

With that said, I am celebrating the Huntress within, and helping them through honoring their innate desire to hunt. We have a tank full of frogs that they are studying right now that we will soon release to make room for more creatures to hunt, catch and learn about. I am so grateful for this path of love, connection and respect that I have for my childrens interests. I love that walking this path brings me down my own path of childhood again and again.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

No Childhood Regrets


Since the Nightline show aired, I've pretty much stayed away from message boards and discussions about the show. Simply because I know how the majority of people respond to the biased reporting of what they think Radical Unschooling is.

One idea that keeps coming up in the little that I have read from viewers, is the idea that our children will be mad at us, once they are adults, for not forcing them to go through the traditional system. I read many times over the years that once our children are grown that they are going to be so upset that we didn't punish them, or force them to do things that they didn't want to do.

This is such a false projection! This isn't based in personal experience. It is people who were forced to jump through the cultural hoops their whole life and who were parented putatively. They desperately want to believe that what they went through as a child was not only necessary, but that they subconsciously wanted and needed to live the life that they did and that it was their only option.

The people making these comments have never met a grown unschooler in real life. The truth is a very different reality.

A grown unschooler, who is a good friend of mine, wrote on his mothers Facebook page for Mother's Day;

"Another day of many to give thanks for you mother, best of friends.
Thank you for your blood, your milk, and your ability to let go, rethink everything and embrace this expansive, fulfilling, experience TOGETHER! Love Unlimited"

I was so touched by Quinn's message to his mother than it really made me think how grateful grown Radical Unschoolers actually are for their childhoods!

I have another dear friend, who has always been Unschooled. He is 21 and his Facebook photo is a one of him and his mother with their arms around one another. I think it is beautiful!

Another beautiful and happy family whom I spent time with who have two grown Unschooled daughters talk to their mother with adoration and love and put their arms around her regularly. The love they have for her is beautiful and infectious. Just being around this family made me proud to be living the life we are today.

This does not seem like anger, or regret or any of the results that the mainstream commenter's have predicted will happen with children who are raised this way!

How is it possible to give your child love, respect and kindness and have them, in turn become regretful of this? It simply goes against natural law! The truth is my children thank me for the life I've given them. They are grateful for the respect and love that they live every single day.

I have no worries that my children will wish I was any different than who I am when they were children. In fact, I know they will look back on these days as joyful and right, and in turn live a level of happiness in their adult years that most in our culture never get to experience.