Touring the The Niña and Pinta

We recently toured the most historically accurate Columbus replica ships ever built. It was so interesting to learn about what it was like in 1492 working aboard one of these ships. They were both so different from one another.

All of the kids enjoyed the experience and I learned more than I ever knew about sea travel during that time in history.

Zombie Barbies

Ivy decided to turn all of her Barbie dolls into Zombies!

I have a few Rubbermaid containers full of small toys that we have acquired over the years. Some are fast food toys, some are from yard sales and some are given to us. Every once in a while I will pull out the hot glue guns, paints and small saws and the kids will create new toys! They put doll heads on trucks and make many other colorful, funny, interesting creations. Recycling at it's best!

When I was a child I much fewer toys than my children do. Sawing them apart and gluing them on to other toys would have never crossed my mind because toys were few in comparison to today and our parents spent so much money on them and they had their ideas of how the toys should be used. Today, we live in a time of abundance and we acquire toys for free or really cheap compared to when I was a kid. A benefit to the abundance of toys in our lives is that our children have the opportunity to experience taking them apart and seeing the inner workings of them. They can recreate toys and trade with their friends, or feel the exhilaration of smashing and old toy with a hammer.

Having the freedom to explore, dismember and smash toys does not mean that my children then disrespect their toys and games. They have many toys that they cherish. Tiff is meticulous with her American Girl Dolls and researches online how to keep them looking brand new. Devin takes incredible care of his iPad2 and game systems and weapon collection. My children value their belongings very much.

When you have four kids, toys and games are everywhere. They are a huge part of life. It is so great to be able to get the most out of everything you have and not be afraid to allow a child to cut the hair off of a once cherished doll. It isn't a loss because the toy is becoming something else. It may be evolving into a new toy, tool or experience. Something we as parents have learned to let go of is the idea that we somehow partially own the toy and have say in how it is used and played with. I would rather give it with no strings and see how my children decide to use it and allow it to change to meet their changing interests and needs.

When Ivy cut the hair off her Barbies and painted them green with acrylic paint. It was nice to see her making herself a new toy. She hadn't played with the Barbies in months and I am so glad that I didn't tell her to not cut their hair. She extended their play life and had a focus for her exuberant creativity.

"You may have heard the term "open ended" in toy descriptions. An "open ended" toy means that the ways of playing with it are endless and powered by the child's imagination. There is no right or wrong way to play with an open ended toy. It is multi-purpose and even grows with the child. Open ended toys are a worthwhile investment, both in terms of how long your child can play with it and also the imagination it inspires."

I found the above description of an "open-ended toy" on a natural parenting site. The article was sharing that playsilks and wooden blocks are open-ended, but Barbie was not. I can see the theory behind this belief, but in my experience with my children, it isn't true. Barbie can be as open-ended as a playsilk as long as you do not impose rules, limits and hold rigid ideas about how you think the toy should be used.

Every toy can be open-ended if you allow them to be!

Passionate Support

When Joe and I first met in school in 1988 he had a camera around his neck. He has been taking pictures for over twenty years. For many years his passion lay dormant. During the intensely busy decade of pregnancies, babies and toddlers he put the camera aside and we started a home business called, Willow Toys. We are grateful to be one of the leading stores in the U.S. to sell the kind of wooden toys that we do, made by hand. We have been in Mothering Magazine's Best Natural Toys review three times with our Willow Kitchen, Sir Gabriel's Castle and Emeline's Dollhouse.

So much of Joe's joyful focus has been on Willow Toys, facilitating my advocacy, travel and living life with four kids. His photography has been on the back burner for a long time.

In the last couple of years however, Joe's passion for photography has been able to be nurtured. He has invested in equipment, lenses and classes. He has perfected his own style and experienced so much by connecting with other photographers.

I have really enjoyed supporting Joe's passion in my own way. I find him props at yard sales. I search for opportunities in which he can take amazing photos and I am designing him a website. We find ways in which Joe can give back through is photography too, which has really fed a need within us to give to others. I have enjoyed focusing on my husband's rekindled passion and I am enjoying helping him expand his interest into a business. Most recently, he began selling prints on Etsy. Check him out!

Our life has been a dance of nurturing each other's interests in life. So much expansion and growth have been the result in doing so. I think it is important being a Radical Unschooling parent that we don't just have the focus on our children and their interests. For our children to truly understand that learning never ends, we really have to Be lifelong learners ourselves. It can be sometimes easy to forget our partner's needs on this path when we are both so focused on the kids. Our lives are all so intertwined and we get into a rhythm. However, it's important for me to keep things exciting and fresh.

Bringing new tools for expansion, such as books, magazines, new foods, new games and toys and objects for creativity helps support everyone in different ways. When we take day trips and travel, we try to work in visiting places that further an interests as a family. If we take a trip to visit friends we might stop at a card shop for Devin on the way and hit a discount store on the way back so Tiff can shop for and buy used toys. (Something she presently loves to do). We know that Orion loves trucks so we might take the long way home and drive through a construction site so he can have that moment of impassioned joy. Keeping our interests in mind on trips makes everywhere we go so memorable and special.

When Joe brings me home something to nurture whatever I am into at the time, it means so much. I feel so loved and understood. I am grateful to be able to give my children and Joe that amazing feeling whenever I can.

Obedience - At What Cost?

I was reading our local news paper today and was shocked to read about a man driving around our area trying to lure kids into his car. It is so scary for the people that live here. You can hear people whispering about it everywhere you go in town.

I was in the grocery store the other day getting my cart. A little boy, maybe 18 months old, came running out into the cart area squealing with delight. The mother ran in after him and snatched him up. "I told you to stay with Mommy! You were bad! That bad man could have taken you! You are going to be strapped in the cart now the whole time we are here because you didn't listen!" The little boy cried so loud the entire time they were in the store. It was heartbreaking. You could hear the fear and anger in this mothers voice. It was a very negative experience, all for the sake of fear and obedience training.

Fear. It is the driving force and one of the main reasons parents are mean and control their kids today. This mother was so petrified about this guy driving around that she was mean to her son, instilling him with fear and negativity. He was angry and hurt by her. The entire time at the store he wanted to get away from her and get down and explore. When a stranger is kinder to a child than the parent, it can be very conflicting for a child. Children are responsive to love, kindness, trust and joy not fear, anger and negativity.

Children are not naturally designed to be obedient over their own inner desires and drives. Parents spend years trying to bend the will of their children to meet their needs before their own. The little boy that ran into the store before his Mom was so joyful and full of life. He was exploring and running and in such bliss at that moment. He didn't have the ability to put his mothers needs before his own. It just isn't possible and it is so narcissistic to expect such a young child to do so. Most adults can't even do it. To expect a toddler to put obedience before exploring and playing is not only cruel, it is unrealistic.

When a child isn't raised in the mainstream way of being trained to obey by every adult around him, he stays in a state of Wholeness than more traditionally raised kids. The child is confident and their inner knowing and intuition stays in tact. If an adult tells them to do something like, "get in my car", they wouldn't even consider it. It would be like asking a confident adult the same question. They do not have the fear of not obeying on their backs, driving them to do things that don't feel right. When trained for obedience by parents and teachers, the desires of adults always come before their own... or else! Safety of the child becomes an issue because they are so trained to listen to adults without question. They are forced to kiss Grandma when they don't want to, they are made to obey adults in every scenario - except one... and that one feels very unclear to most kids.

There is no "Stranger Danger" film, or sit-down talk powerful enough to override the years of obedience training that most kids receive for them to be able to have a clear knowing of what to do in the situation when an adult is asking them to do something. It is very conflicting for a child. When a child has physically and emotionally gone through the motions of obedience and meeting adults needs, just telling a child to "not listen to a stranger" is so hypocritical when everything else they hear in life says just the opposite.

I feel that my children are much safer than children who have been raised with obedience training, because they have always been able to have their needs met without putting our needs before theirs, hence valuing their needs as much as others needs. They would never consider listening to an adult tell them to do something they weren't comfortable with because they have never been forced to do so. Ever.

We talk with our children about listening to their inner guidance. We also told them about the man driving around our neighborhood and we came from a calm place of information. Not a place of fear and exaggeration. I want them to listen to themselves first and foremost, before anyone else, including me.

I was almost abducted as a little girl. A man drove up to me as asked me to get in his car. He was exposing himself and even with that red flag, my hand was on the door handle! I knew not to get in, but I was so scared of what would happen if I didn't obey the man. I was so scared and confused. I wanted to be a "good girl". I was always praised because I listened so well and because I "respecting adults". (which really means obeying). I know he was telling me to do something, and I was trained to do what I was told - by every adult around me. Luckily some other kids came by and he drove off. Who knows if I would be here today if that hadn't happened. I know first hand the conflicting message our culture sends to children.

Living this life has made me rethink so much. Obedience and fear go hand in hand. When you can let go of fear, you aren't so driven to force a child to obey as a parent who is living in a more trusting place. You may begin to see life through your child's eyes and begin putting their needs in a place equal to your own. Children want to hear information from us about safety. It is important though that what we say and how we live go hand in hand. When we are sending mixed messages, information because confusing to children. Parenting in partnership has many long term benefits and I believe that safety is just one.

Hooping

I recently learned to hula hoop. I never thought I could do it, but once I tried the large customized hoops, instead of the lightweight, small hoops that you buy from the store, it was easy! I love it and so many of my friends were also introduced to it at the Life Rocks Conference. by my friend Hattie McCarthy.

I never knew hooping was such a popular activity until I began researching it. Although I can't see myself as a die-hard "Hooper" like some of my friends, I think it's pretty cool to have learned how to do something that I never learned to do as a kid. I never thought I could do it... I just didn't have the right tools! So much in life is like that. Never doubt yourself!

Check out http://www.hooping.org/ to learn about the history of hooping, how to make a hula hoop, and so much more! Here's to always learning!

Dangerous Passions

Over the last few months Devin has a growing interest in real weapons. He has always liked weapons and he has had many toy swords and Nerf guns over the years, but he's 12 now and things are evolving. It took me a while to get over being nervous of him owning and using them. These are really dangerous items! We've had several conversations about their safety and he keeps them out of reach of his siblings because that is what we do as unschoolers. Joe built him a safe place to explore them outside, complete with a dart board handing on a tree to practice using his Chinese throwing stars safely.

He has got nicked once or twice by his butterfly knife learning to swing it around. He learns a new level of respect for the weapons the more he uses them.

This is a new area of interest that I have had to grow and learn fro

m myself. I'm finding as my children get older and their passions shift to more and more complicated topics, I need to sometimes extensively research the topic myself for them to get the most our of the experience. The life of a radical unschooler is not for the lazy parent! It is constant rethinking, reevaluating, researching, stretching and growing. I wouldn't change it for the world. No matter what our kids are interested in we are their to support them.

Fairy Love

Tiff and Ivy are really into fairies right now. We've been making Fairy Houses for years! My Mom gave them a book that got them exciting about their inspiration and passion! Here are some of their latest fairy creations.

I love when my some of my kids have a passion that they share. It makes it so much fun to explore together!

Fridge Art

I had the idea to use chalkboard paint on the front of our fridge so we could use it as a space to create! It has been so much fun! The kids and I enjoy group art pieces for all to enjoy! It was a simple way to bring more art and creativity into our everyday lives!

I'm a Barbie Girl!

I celebrated my 38th birthday surrounded by my family and friends a couple of weeks ago! One of my favorite gifts was this Barbie that one of my friends kids made to look like me. It is such a thoughtful idea! Love it!