The Sparkling Martins

Radical Unschooling live Interview (with BONUS Sexy Birth interview!)

2012-01-24T09:50:00.000-05:00

This was a recent interview that I did about Unschooling and also my new book being released, Sexy Birth! I hope it uplifts and inspires you!

~Peace & Love, Dayna

Listen to internet radio with ProgressiveParenting on Blog Talk Radio

Introducing..... SEXY BIRTH!!

2012-01-24T01:24:00.002-05:00

Here is the cover of my new book, Sexy Birth!

“Being responsible for your birth means shifting from a cultural place of control, to a place of trust and inner knowing that all is well and as it should be. It is a space of acceptance for what is and then from that position of well-being, informed decisions can be made. Making decisions from a place of fear or worry isn’t ideal, but unfortunately, in our culture, fear is what fuels most decisions. It is no wonder that birth becomes something very scary for most women. ” Page 2 of Sexy Birth

Dayna Martin brings you a new way to view birth. She breaks down the walls of conventional beliefs and busts through the myths that have been passed down down for generations, even within the naturally-minded birthing community!

Birth can be fun. Birth can be easy. Birth can be pleasurable, IF you know what to do and how to prepare for the most intense and powerful of human experience.
Dayna is taking preorders for her ground-breaking, sure to be – best-selling book!
Sexy Birth breaks all the rules and takes it’s readers to a new awareness about birth and about LIFE!
“A Sexy Birth is a birth where trust and love are the predominant emotions guiding you through the entire process. Most women and professionals in our cutlture do not view birth in such a positive way and so much of it, they believe, is just by chance or luck. Nothing could be further from the truth! “

Pre-Order, SEXY BIRTH today!

Needle Felting For Relaxation

2012-01-18T19:09:00.007-05:00

Tiff has a new passion - Needle Felting! She loves this art form and was inspired when I hosted two sessions about it at the Rethinking Everything conference in Texas this past fall.

Being a highly sensitive person, this type of activity has really helped her relax when things get too intense for her. If the house gets to loud or busy, she can go up to her bedroom and sit for hours just poking the felt with the needle and follow her inspiration. Her best friend, Karson, helped her with the chicken and monkey. Connecting through their mutual passion for dance and needle felt, Tiff and Karson spend all day sometimes, in her room following their bliss. They inspire one another and learn so much from sharing their passions! This is the heart of Unschooling!!

The repetitive nature of the craft is very soothing for a highly sensitive person. I am always amazed at what Tiff creates! She is so proud of her work and I love the joy that needle felting brings her.

"Needle felting is a process which uses barbed needles to interlock wool fibers to form a more condensed material. Wool fibers have scales which when rubbed against each other catch and lock into place to create this denser material called felt. Felting needles are used to entangle the fibers. As the felting needle is moved up and down, the barbs on the needles catch the scales of the wool and entangle them into place."
(thank you Wistyria)

Steampunk!

2012-01-07T22:13:00.010-05:00

Devin's passion right now is anything and everything Steampunk! He learned about this subculture while in Las Vegas and has jumped completely into it since returning home. He loves Steampunk fashion and has been sewing and creating his own clothes. He modifies existing items to make them new and "UpCycles" things he finds from thrift stores and the dump.

Devin has learned so much from his interest in Steampunk! From science, to history to fashion to music to craftsmanship... he has grown and has becoming interested in so much since delving into the subculture. Nurturing his passion by attending the Steampunk World's Fair this May is one way in which I am facilitating his individualized education and personal path in life.

Devin also started a Steampunk Blog!

The Sacred Flow of the Family Bed

2012-01-01T20:39:00.003-05:00

Hello! Happy New Year Everyone! You can read my latest article,

"The Sacred Flow of the Family Bed" in

Rethinking Everything PARENT Issue ONE!!

Peace & Love, Dayna

MineCon!

2012-01-01T16:51:00.005-05:00

Devin and Notch! The creator of Minecraft!!

MineCon was a Minecraft Convention held by Mojang AB. Devin and Joe went to nurture Devin's passion for the game, on November 18, 2011. It was in Las Vegas and celebrated the release of Minecraft 1.0. The launch of the game was an incredible experience according to Devin. He was so grateful for being able to attend. He connected with other gamers from all over the world and met friends whom he had been playing online with for months, in person.

Visiting the city of Las Vegas was a life changing experience for Devin. For him to see the amazing bright lights and extreme action of the city gave him a broader perspective of the world and human potential. He said it was something he would never forget.

This is a photo of the actual Launch of the Game Minecraft 1.0

Minecraft Characters

Gaming Center at MineCon

Raw Envy is Launched!

2011-12-30T23:41:00.003-05:00

I recently published a new blog! It is to share my Raw Food Lifestyle and Journey! Please feel free to visit if you are inspired to do so! ~Dayna

My 40 Personal Affirmations of Abundance

2011-12-30T23:28:00.006-05:00

I was inspired to share some of my new affirmations.

I love to share how I create the life I want through positive thinking and focusing on what I want - not what I don't want.

You can actively create the life you want too! You can start by simply writing your own personal affirmations!

1. Whatever I can conceive, I believe.

2. If I see it in my mind, I am going to hold it in my hand.

3. I open myself to receiving abundance of the Universe.

4. The Universe provides me with all that I will ever need.

5. I am richly blessed.

6. I am love.

7. I am One with Spirit.

8. My higher self rules over my ego.

9. My spirit dances in step with joy in my heart.

10. I am whole and in perfect health

11. Every cell in my body vibrates with health and positive energy.

12. Beauty is the breath of my soul.

13. I see beauty everywhere I go.

14. I am financially wealthy!

15. Checks arrive in my mailbox every single day.

16. My wealth grows in ever increasing amounts.

17. I love my car!

18. I live in the house of my dreams; in tranquil surroundings filled with love, a blessed family and happy kids!!

19. I attract love everywhere.

20. My relationships are harmonious!

21. I work as and when I want to, anywhere I want to.

22. Our businesses are resoundingly successful!

23. I enjoy absolute freedom!

24. I experience the world in all its glory.

25. I have a wealth of fond memories.

26. My life is one big adventure.

27. I serve others with love.

28. I help those in need.

29. My mentors inspire me to live in the now!

30. My inner home is a peaceful retreat, a storehouse of practical wisdom and a workshop of our passions.

31. I celebrate life.

32. Inspiration flows easily to me.

33. Opportunities arrive at the right time in the right place

34. I am divinely guided in all that I do.35. Miracles manifest everyday in wondrous ways!

36. My prayers are always answered, in support of my dreams!

37. I create and contribute!

38. My children and I are deeply connected.

39. I travel wherever I want to, as much as I want to.

40. Love and gratitude…Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Devin Visits Las Vegas

2011-12-29T12:28:00.003-05:00

Devin and Joe went to Las Vegas this past November. They went to MineCon, which is a conference for lovers of the game, Minecraft. While they were there, they traveled to the desert, where Joe got some great photos of their adventure together. The landscape is breathtaking!

As Unschooling parents, it is our role to facilitate and nurture our children's passions and interests in life. Bringing Devin to MineCon was a dream for him. I am so glad we could make it come true! He learned so much and connected with the creators of the game itself. To be inspired by others who are passionate about what you are passionate about is all part of learning and growing in the most authentic, connected way. I am so grateful that Devin had that experience and that Joe was there to share it with him.

Our Beautiful Australian Resort at Airlie Beach

2011-11-23T22:53:00.003-05:00

These are wild mangos growing on the tree next to our villa. They are growing everywhere!

This is the resort pool. Devin loved the waterslides. One of my friends, Peck, went dumpter-diving one day after the conference and found several inflatable mattresses. We filled them all up and then had a huge water war with over a dozen Unschooled kids... So many memories and meet-ups for parents that I worked with one on one in this space.

This is our beautiful Villa which was our home for three weeks.

Australian Candy/Lollies

Here I am exhausted at the airport waiting for our final flight to Airlie Beach at the Great Barrier Reef. There was a fourteen hour time difference in Australia and it was quite an adjustment!

A Year of New Experiences!

2011-11-23T22:31:00.003-05:00

Unschooling is all about giving your child as big of a world as possible. I feel very blessed that we can give our children so many opportunities and experiences to learn and grow from. Devin and I did so many new things that we had never done before when we were in Australia. One of which was parasailing! It was incredible and so peaceful when we were up in the air together. We talked about how grateful we were and how beautiful the experience was. Devin reminded me to be present and breathe in the moment. Our trip to Australia together is something I will never forget.

The wild cockatoos were everywhere and feeding them was a special treat for me. In the evening they would all fly back to their nests and looking up to see them fly overhead was unbelievable for me to experience. I have never seen exotic birds in the wild like there were at the Great Barrier Reef area of Australia. Such paradise!

Living the Dream at The Great Barrier Reef!!

2011-11-23T22:16:00.007-05:00

Here Devin and I are ready to snorkel the Great Barrier Reef in Australia!

What we have on are called, "stinger suits" and they cover every inch of our bodies. There were jellyfish that could kill you where we were swimming, but we were totally protected.

This is a lifelong dream come true for me! It was amazing!!

Devin suiting up for his first experience snorkeling! He LOVED every minute of it! He saw giant clams, tons of fish and touched the Great Barrier Reef itself as he swam only a foot over it. Amazing life experience!!!

This is the boat that we took out to the Great Barrier Reef. It was a three-hour boat trip to the Reef itself. The is the same ship that Oprah took to the Reef when she visited Australia last year.

Here Devin is in a submarine where we were able to explore the Great Barrier Reef with great commentary about what we were seeing. We learned so much!

More Australia 2011...

2011-11-23T21:41:00.003-05:00

Handmade Didgeridoos!

Devin climbed so many trees in Australia. This was my favorite one!!

Devin's new passion - Fire Twirling!!

My friend Brit and I at the Australian Unschooling Conference, 2011. Brit is one of the organizers of our Shift Experience in Sydney in 2012!!

Aussie Money! So beautiful and colorful!

Bringing Halloween in Oz

2011-11-22T17:14:00.003-05:00

Before flying to Australia, the organizers of the Unschooling conference asked me if I would help them bring the American holiday of Halloween to the families attending the conference. I shared that I would be happy to organize Trick-or-Treating and share with the conference attendees what it entailed. To see most of these kids so excited to experience Halloween for the very first time was magical!! Also, seeing Halloween celebrated in such a non-commercial way was inspiring. I loved giving out "lollies" (what the Aussies call candy) and American change when I ran out of lollies.

Wild Australian Coconuts!

2011-11-22T15:15:00.005-05:00

Holly and Lotus drinking the deliciousness!

Peck, opening each coconut with a machete. It wasn't as easy as it looked to do that!

The coconuts were abundant! It was such a good idea for Holly and Peck to pick them and then sell them at the conference. They were so popular! I loved how Peck would bring me on after my talks to help recharge me. I wish they grew in New Hampshire! ;)

Daydream Island, Australia Adventure!

2011-11-22T11:51:00.004-05:00

Devin and I enjoyed Jetskiing on Daydream Island, Australia.

I loved the wild cockatoos!

Devin learned to scuba dive and then explored the depths of the ocean!!

New Ink!

2011-11-22T11:09:00.003-05:00

When I was in Australia, I decided to get a tattoo to honor my husband and also symbolize the driving force in my life - Love! Love for my life, my family and my friends. I am so full of love and love to give it freely and abundantly to others.

This is the Japanese symbol for love under Joe's name written in tribal script. Devin was with me for the whole experience and it was great having him by my side as I tattooed his fathers name on my wrist. Devin loved being part of it!

This is my friend Finn. He is the son of my friend Maree. He was really interested in learning about tattoos and tattooing. Being Unschooled, his passion for learning is infectious! I was so glad to have him watch me go through the experience. He asked a lot of questions and my tattoo artist was happy to have him there and answer anything he asked about.

One great thing about Australia is that children are welcome in the back of a tattoo studio. They aren't in most studios in America. There is definitely a higher level of freedom there compared to here in many ways. I loved being barefoot in the grocery stores too!

Australia Adventures 2012

2011-11-22T10:47:00.002-05:00

Here is Devin and his friend Jasper on an islands in the Whitsunday Island region of theGreat Barrier Reef in Australia. Devin and I flew to Australia for three weeks to speak at the 2nd Australian Unschooling Conference. It was an amazing experience!

Devin at Daydream Island, Australia

Devin and I sea kayaking in Australia

The Three Brothers Statues on Daydream Island.

Devin at Airlie Beach, Australia.

A Visit to Not Back To School Camp

2011-10-05T21:30:00.003-05:00

Today we went to the Not Back to School Camp, where I visited with some friends, including my sweet friend, Grace Llewellyn, author of "The Teenage Liberation Handbook: How to Quit School and Get a Real Life and Education", and camp director. Grace invited us for a visit to check the camp out and spend some time together. It was so much fun and Devin gained some insight of what camp will be like when he attends next year.

Here is a video about Not Back to School Camp -NBTSC - Enjoy!

Not Back to School Camp: A Glance Within from Allen Ellis on Vimeo.

Fairy House Tour 2011

2011-10-04T07:58:00.003-05:00

We recently joined over 3,000 people at the Fairy House Tour in Portsmouth, New Hampshire! We built fairy houses and took part in all of the fun! It was a very special day that we will always remember.

Discovering Mount Washington

2011-10-04T07:42:00.004-05:00

Orion, Ivy, my friend Susan's daughter, Lochlann, Tiff and Buddha

Our family recently took a trip to the top of Mt. Washington.

Some facts about Mt. Washington that we all learned about during our trip:

Topping out at 6,288 feet above sea level, Mount Washington, New Hampshire, located some 130 miles north of Boston, is the highest point in the northeastern United States.

* The Mount Washington Observatory has been staffed continuously since 1932, with the exception of a brief evacuation in February 2004 due to a fire.

* In April 1934, the observatory recorded a 231-mile-per-hour (372 kmh) wind that remains a world record for a land-based weather station. Some of the observatory buildings are secured to the summit with chains to keep them from blowing away. Temperatures atop the mountain can drop as low as -47 degrees Fahrenheit (-44 C)

* The average temperature on the summit is 26.5 degrees Fahrenheit (-3 C), winds average 35.3 miles per hour (56.8 kmh). The summit gets about 42 feet of snow per year, and typically sees snowfall every month of the year -- though it melts quickly in the summer.

* Summit staff work 12-hour shifts in eight-day cycles. Typically shifts change on Wednesday, although severe weather conditions sometimes force a change. They do not shower while working atop the mountain.

* On the clearest days, observers can see as far as Mount Marcy in New York State, 134 miles to the west

Rawlicious!

2011-10-04T07:32:00.003-05:00

I've been a raw vegan for only a month now and it has improved my life on so many levels! Here are a few of my own creations shared in photos. I have more mental clarity, vitality, patience and joyful energy. I feel alive in a way that I have never experienced before! The kids are loving my recipes and new passion for raw foods. They too have shifted in their food choices and are reaping the benefits of healthy eating!

Heritage Happens!

2011-10-04T06:59:00.006-05:00

Our family recently attended the Newmarket Heritage Festival in Newmarket, NH. It was an amazing experience to connect with and learn from so many other cultures that were all represented at the festival. Among some of the cultures celebrated were Eastern European, French Canadian, Japanese, Chinese and African. Over 50 vendors represent multiple heritages and a variety of artisans and performers including a blacksmith, 18th century printer, Indian dancers, Taiko drummers, and an accordion player.

The kids learned about printing in the old days, the Art of Chinese Lettering, woodworking before there was electricity, weaving with a loom and the even got to walk an Ox!

Barefoot Kids

2011-10-04T06:33:00.005-05:00

Our kids never wear shoes unless they have to because we are going into a store or somewhere where shoes are required. They has always preferred being barefoot. We recently bought them minimalist shoes. They love them!

Doing activities barefoot brings a lot of advantages to the body’s flexibility and mobility. It allows you to exercise, stretch, relax, and strengthen muscles you normally don’t get to use when wearing shoes.

Doing things barefoot also improves range of motion in ankles, feet, and toes because of movements that are more natural and free. It also heightens body awareness since the body has the sense of being freer than being shod. Balance and motion agility are also developed because doing things barefoot further stimulates the neurons and nerves that are essential to lower body movement. And because there are no heels to torture the foot heel and the ankle, it enhances natural posture and the alignment of the spine.

According to some ancient philosophies, life-force energy called Chi (also called Qi or Prana) can be absorbed through the soles of the feet. Ground Chi is absorbed automatically and unconsciously when walking barefoot, which increases the amount of Chi absorbed by the body.

It's said that you can consciously learn to absorb more Chi from the ground as you walk to increase your vitality, your capacity to do more work and your ability to think more clearly. Now there's a reason for going barefoot more often if we ever heard one!

"Set your feet free and your mind will follow." Society for Barefoot Living

I've Gone Raw!

2011-09-13T09:30:00.008-05:00

Part of my personal evolution as an Unschooling Mom is exploring the healthiest ways to enjoy our food. I have recently taken the plunge to a Living, Raw diet.

I have never felt better in my life. I am about 90% raw now, but I still enjoy my morning coffee. I don't know if I will ever give up my beloved coffee, but who knows! I never thought I would become a raw foodist either!

I have lost weight, become more energetic, gained mental clarity and I have softer, clearer skin! The raw food choices are abundant and eating Living, Raw foods are on a higher vibration than cooked, dead foods are. This fact alone has brought me to a higher level of consciousness and personal evolution. I feel so connected to what I am eating and part of the Earth in a new way. I had no idea how much adopting this lifestyle would change my life.

Here are a some photos of my recent favorite raw recipes!

The greatest value of the raw food diet is its transformative value. To a great extent, when you take up the raw food diet, you become a new and different and better person. You don't just stay the old person, only a little healthier. You become, to a great extent, a new being with new interests, a new philosophy and outlook on life, new goals and desires. You become more of your essence, your true and natural self. You become a person who is more a part of the one great life of Nature and less of the confused human world. You become less "of the world" and more "of the Earth." -- Joe Alexander

What is Unschooling?

2011-08-08T10:10:00.007-05:00

In my book, "Radical Unschooling: A Revolution Has Begun". I share that Radical Unschooling is an evolution of our understanding about learning and the rights and respect of children. We are on the cusp of change and many people are looking for alternatives to the traditional schooling model. With Unschooling, we are reprioritizing. We are taking back our freedom and putting happiness, connection and family first!

Unschooling is more of a parenting philosophy than an educational one. Both parenting and education are inseparable and not compartmentalised in the Radical Unschooling philosophy.

Speaking about Unschooling is a passion of mine and over the next six weeks I am travelling to Texas and Australia to share this leading-edge philosophy with others. If you are in either parts of the world, come, learn and grow and meet hundreds of other families choosing this path for their children.

A revolution has truly begun!

Devin the Herbalist

2011-07-30T09:47:00.005-05:00

Every since Devin was around three, he has been interested in herbs. He has learned so much over the years about the plants and herbs that naturally grow in our area. Every year he helps choose the herbs that we grow in our garden. When one of the kids get an injury they often go to Devin who recommends which herbs can help heal them or ease discomfort.

Recently, my friend Robin came over to visit and she pointed out that we have an abundance of plantain weed in our yard. Devin was so excited to learn about it and jumped online to research it extensively. He learned that it is great for bug bites and other minor scrapes and injuries.

He dried the leaves, ground them up and then added oil to make a salve.

Devin has so many passions and I love to witness his expansion and growth as he learns about all that interests him in life. He was so excited when I bought him a mortar and pestle! He loves using it to nurture his ever growing passion for herbs and herbology.

Metamorphosis

2011-07-30T09:34:00.004-05:00

Recently, the kids and I watched our tadpoles slowly turn into frogs. It took about six weeks for the process to be complete. It was an amazing process! The first thing we do in the morning is check on our tadpoles and we would measure how much of their tails have disappeared. We learned so much from the process. Here is a photo of our tadpole, Milton, almost complete in his metamorphosis.

We learned a lot through this website about a frogs life cycle. I love that my children were able to witness the process and connect with the very living things that were transforming. It deepened their understanding of the process. We plan on releasing the frogs into a pond near our home this week. I know it will be a joyful and emotional experience for our whole family.

Our Home Full of History

2011-07-30T08:39:00.007-05:00

Our home was built in 1926 by Joe's great-grandfather, William Harmon. Our children are the fourth generation to live in this house and the ninth generation to live in our town, Madison, New Hampshire. When our home was built it was done by hand, with so much love. You can feel it the moment you walk in. No power tools were used to build our home.

We have a historical society on our street. A large part of it is dedicated to the Harmon family (our family). We visited recently so I could show the kids the very tools used to build our home. They are so proud that our home is such a historic landmark in our town and that they are part of history.

Here are some photos of the very tools used to build our house. How amazing to see them and know that they were used as an extension of the love that William Harmon had for his family.

The UnNanny Chronicles

2011-07-19T17:15:00.016-05:00

For over a year now I've been going into the homes of families looking to live a more peaceful, respectful parenting paradigm with their children. I have even been featured on the ABC show Nightline where I was filmed and interviewed about my role as the "UnNanny".

It has been an incredible year and I have been hired by families all over the country to help them learn more about Unschooling by having me by their sides for a total immersion experience. I can experience your life and everyday parenting issues and help you in the moment with options, alternatives and ideas that will change your idea of parenting and relationships with your children and one another as partners.

Here is a letter that I received from an amazing family who I will never forget. We will always have a special connection because of our time together. I am so grateful to have the opportunity to bring more peace in the homes of other families.

If you are interested in learning how I can help your family, just drop me an email! I am happy to share what having me, the UnNanny, come to your home entails. I promise, it will change your lives for the better and your family will forever be more peaceful, connected and joyful!

Touring the The Niña and Pinta

2011-06-30T15:45:00.004-05:00

We recently toured the most historically accurate Columbus replica ships ever built. It was so interesting to learn about what it was like in 1492 working aboard one of these ships. They were both so different from one another.

All of the kids enjoyed the experience and I learned more than I ever knew about sea travel during that time in history.

Zombie Barbies

2011-06-30T07:07:00.035-05:00

Ivy decided to turn all of her Barbie dolls into Zombies!

I have a few Rubbermaid containers full of small toys that we have acquired over the years. Some are fast food toys, some are from yard sales and some are given to us. Every once in a while I will pull out the hot glue guns, paints and small saws and the kids will create new toys! They put doll heads on trucks and make many other colorful, funny, interesting creations. Recycling at it's best!

When I was a child I much fewer toys than my children do. Sawing them apart and gluing them on to other toys would have never crossed my mind because toys were few in comparison to today and our parents spent so much money on them and they had their ideas of how the toys should be used. Today, we live in a time of abundance and we acquire toys for free or really cheap compared to when I was a kid. A benefit to the abundance of toys in our lives is that our children have the opportunity to experience taking them apart and seeing the inner workings of them. They can recreate toys and trade with their friends, or feel the exhilaration of smashing and old toy with a hammer.

Having the freedom to explore, dismember and smash toys does not mean that my children then disrespect their toys and games. They have many toys that they cherish. Tiff is meticulous with her American Girl Dolls and researches online how to keep them looking brand new. Devin takes incredible care of his iPad2 and game systems and weapon collection. My children value their belongings very much.

When you have four kids, toys and games are everywhere. They are a huge part of life. It is so great to be able to get the most out of everything you have and not be afraid to allow a child to cut the hair off of a once cherished doll. It isn't a loss because the toy is becoming something else. It may be evolving into a new toy, tool or experience. Something we as parents have learned to let go of is the idea that we somehow partially own the toy and have say in how it is used and played with. I would rather give it with no strings and see how my children decide to use it and allow it to change to meet their changing interests and needs.

When Ivy cut the hair off her Barbies and painted them green with acrylic paint. It was nice to see her making herself a new toy. She hadn't played with the Barbies in months and I am so glad that I didn't tell her to not cut their hair. She extended their play life and had a focus for her exuberant creativity.

"You may have heard the term "open ended" in toy descriptions. An "open ended" toy means that the ways of playing with it are endless and powered by the child's imagination. There is no right or wrong way to play with an open ended toy. It is multi-purpose and even grows with the child. Open ended toys are a worthwhile investment, both in terms of how long your child can play with it and also the imagination it inspires."

I found the above description of an "open-ended toy" on a natural parenting site. The article was sharing that playsilks and wooden blocks are open-ended, but Barbie was not. I can see the theory behind this belief, but in my experience with my children, it isn't true. Barbie can be as open-ended as a playsilk as long as you do not impose rules, limits and hold rigid ideas about how you think the toy should be used.

Every toy can be open-ended if you allow them to be!

Passionate Support

2011-06-25T07:18:00.027-05:00

When Joe and I first met in school in 1988 he had a camera around his neck. He has been taking pictures for over twenty years. For many years his passion lay dormant. During the intensely busy decade of pregnancies, babies and toddlers he put the camera aside and we started a home business called, Willow Toys. We are grateful to be one of the leading stores in the U.S. to sell the kind of wooden toys that we do, made by hand. We have been in Mothering Magazine's Best Natural Toys review three times with our Willow Kitchen, Sir Gabriel's Castle and Emeline's Dollhouse.

So much of Joe's joyful focus has been on Willow Toys, facilitating my advocacy, travel and living life with four kids. His photography has been on the back burner for a long time.

In the last couple of years however, Joe's passion for photography has been able to be nurtured. He has invested in equipment, lenses and classes. He has perfected his own style and experienced so much by connecting with other photographers.

I have really enjoyed supporting Joe's passion in my own way. I find him props at yard sales. I search for opportunities in which he can take amazing photos and I am designing him a website. We find ways in which Joe can give back through is photography too, which has really fed a need within us to give to others. I have enjoyed focusing on my husband's rekindled passion and I am enjoying helping him expand his interest into a business. Most recently, he began selling prints on Etsy. Check him out!

Our life has been a dance of nurturing each other's interests in life. So much expansion and growth have been the result in doing so. I think it is important being a Radical Unschooling parent that we don't just have the focus on our children and their interests. For our children to truly understand that learning never ends, we really have to Be lifelong learners ourselves. It can be sometimes easy to forget our partner's needs on this path when we are both so focused on the kids. Our lives are all so intertwined and we get into a rhythm. However, it's important for me to keep things exciting and fresh.

Bringing new tools for expansion, such as books, magazines, new foods, new games and toys and objects for creativity helps support everyone in different ways. When we take day trips and travel, we try to work in visiting places that further an interests as a family. If we take a trip to visit friends we might stop at a card shop for Devin on the way and hit a discount store on the way back so Tiff can shop for and buy used toys. (Something she presently loves to do). We know that Orion loves trucks so we might take the long way home and drive through a construction site so he can have that moment of impassioned joy. Keeping our interests in mind on trips makes everywhere we go so memorable and special.

When Joe brings me home something to nurture whatever I am into at the time, it means so much. I feel so loved and understood. I am grateful to be able to give my children and Joe that amazing feeling whenever I can.

Obedience - At What Cost?

2011-06-12T13:02:00.018-05:00

I was reading our local news paper today and was shocked to read about a man driving around our area trying to lure kids into his car. It is so scary for the people that live here. You can hear people whispering about it everywhere you go in town.

I was in the grocery store the other day getting my cart. A little boy, maybe 18 months old, came running out into the cart area squealing with delight. The mother ran in after him and snatched him up. "I told you to stay with Mommy! You were bad! That bad man could have taken you! You are going to be strapped in the cart now the whole time we are here because you didn't listen!" The little boy cried so loud the entire time they were in the store. It was heartbreaking. You could hear the fear and anger in this mothers voice. It was a very negative experience, all for the sake of fear and obedience training.

Fear. It is the driving force and one of the main reasons parents are mean and control their kids today. This mother was so petrified about this guy driving around that she was mean to her son, instilling him with fear and negativity. He was angry and hurt by her. The entire time at the store he wanted to get away from her and get down and explore. When a stranger is kinder to a child than the parent, it can be very conflicting for a child. Children are responsive to love, kindness, trust and joy not fear, anger and negativity.

Children are not naturally designed to be obedient over their own inner desires and drives. Parents spend years trying to bend the will of their children to meet their needs before their own. The little boy that ran into the store before his Mom was so joyful and full of life. He was exploring and running and in such bliss at that moment. He didn't have the ability to put his mothers needs before his own. It just isn't possible and it is so narcissistic to expect such a young child to do so. Most adults can't even do it. To expect a toddler to put obedience before exploring and playing is not only cruel, it is unrealistic.

When a child isn't raised in the mainstream way of being trained to obey by every adult around him, he stays in a state of Wholeness than more traditionally raised kids. The child is confident and their inner knowing and intuition stays in tact. If an adult tells them to do something like, "get in my car", they wouldn't even consider it. It would be like asking a confident adult the same question. They do not have the fear of not obeying on their backs, driving them to do things that don't feel right. When trained for obedience by parents and teachers, the desires of adults always come before their own... or else! Safety of the child becomes an issue because they are so trained to listen to adults without question. They are forced to kiss Grandma when they don't want to, they are made to obey adults in every scenario - except one... and that one feels very unclear to most kids.

There is no "Stranger Danger" film, or sit-down talk powerful enough to override the years of obedience training that most kids receive for them to be able to have a clear knowing of what to do in the situation when an adult is asking them to do something. It is very conflicting for a child. When a child has physically and emotionally gone through the motions of obedience and meeting adults needs, just telling a child to "not listen to a stranger" is so hypocritical when everything else they hear in life says just the opposite.

I feel that my children are much safer than children who have been raised with obedience training, because they have always been able to have their needs met without putting our needs before theirs, hence valuing their needs as much as others needs. They would never consider listening to an adult tell them to do something they weren't comfortable with because they have never been forced to do so. Ever.

We talk with our children about listening to their inner guidance. We also told them about the man driving around our neighborhood and we came from a calm place of information. Not a place of fear and exaggeration. I want them to listen to themselves first and foremost, before anyone else, including me.

I was almost abducted as a little girl. A man drove up to me as asked me to get in his car. He was exposing himself and even with that red flag, my hand was on the door handle! I knew not to get in, but I was so scared of what would happen if I didn't obey the man. I was so scared and confused. I wanted to be a "good girl". I was always praised because I listened so well and because I "respecting adults". (which really means obeying). I know he was telling me to do something, and I was trained to do what I was told - by every adult around me. Luckily some other kids came by and he drove off. Who knows if I would be here today if that hadn't happened. I know first hand the conflicting message our culture sends to children.

Living this life has made me rethink so much. Obedience and fear go hand in hand. When you can let go of fear, you aren't so driven to force a child to obey as a parent who is living in a more trusting place. You may begin to see life through your child's eyes and begin putting their needs in a place equal to your own. Children want to hear information from us about safety. It is important though that what we say and how we live go hand in hand. When we are sending mixed messages, information because confusing to children. Parenting in partnership has many long term benefits and I believe that safety is just one.

Hooping

2011-06-09T18:55:00.008-05:00

I recently learned to hula hoop. I never thought I could do it, but once I tried the large customized hoops, instead of the lightweight, small hoops that you buy from the store, it was easy! I love it and so many of my friends were also introduced to it at the Life Rocks Conference. by my friend Hattie McCarthy.

I never knew hooping was such a popular activity until I began researching it. Although I can't see myself as a die-hard "Hooper" like some of my friends, I think it's pretty cool to have learned how to do something that I never learned to do as a kid. I never thought I could do it... I just didn't have the right tools! So much in life is like that. Never doubt yourself!

Check out http://www.hooping.org/ to learn about the history of hooping, how to make a hula hoop, and so much more! Here's to always learning!

Dangerous Passions

2011-06-09T08:16:00.010-05:00

Over the last few months Devin has a growing interest in real weapons. He has always liked weapons and he has had many toy swords and Nerf guns over the years, but he's 12 now and things are evolving. It took me a while to get over being nervous of him owning and using them. These are really dangerous items! We've had several conversations about their safety and he keeps them out of reach of his siblings because that is what we do as unschoolers. Joe built him a safe place to explore them outside, complete with a dart board handing on a tree to practice using his Chinese throwing stars safely.

He has got nicked once or twice by his butterfly knife learning to swing it around. He learns a new level of respect for the weapons the more he uses them.

This is a new area of interest that I have had to grow and learn fro

m myself. I'm finding as my children get older and their passions shift to more and more complicated topics, I need to sometimes extensively research the topic myself for them to get the most our of the experience. The life of a radical unschooler is not for the lazy parent! It is constant rethinking, reevaluating, researching, stretching and growing. I wouldn't change it for the world. No matter what our kids are interested in we are their to support them.

Fairy Love

2011-06-09T08:11:00.002-05:00

Tiff and Ivy are really into fairies right now. We've been making Fairy Houses for years! My Mom gave them a book that got them exciting about their inspiration and passion! Here are some of their latest fairy creations.

I love when my some of my kids have a passion that they share. It makes it so much fun to explore together!

Fridge Art

2011-06-09T07:54:00.002-05:00

I had the idea to use chalkboard paint on the front of our fridge so we could use it as a space to create! It has been so much fun! The kids and I enjoy group art pieces for all to enjoy! It was a simple way to bring more art and creativity into our everyday lives!

I'm a Barbie Girl!

2011-06-09T07:50:00.003-05:00

I celebrated my 38th birthday surrounded by my family and friends a couple of weeks ago! One of my favorite gifts was this Barbie that one of my friends kids made to look like me. It is such a thoughtful idea! Love it!

Free-Thinking Friendship

2011-05-16T11:29:00.030-05:00

Most of us walking the path-less-traveled are free-thinkers. We second guess everything and choose to research what others in our culture may state as truth. From birth to education to foods to parenting - we practice a mindset of trusting where our hearts lead us instead of listening to the opinion of others.

Demanding informed consent and making educated decisions are the basis of many of our identities. Yet, this seems to stop short when it comes to listening to opinions and judgments about others. I admit, I'm guilty of it myself. It's easy to get sucked into online drama and adopt judgments and feelings that someone may have of someone else, even if you never met them yourself. Especially if the opinion is from someone you admire and trust. It can be hard to walk your own path and establish your own ideas and opinions about a person when it is clouded by someones agenda and anger and negativity. We can instantly adopt someones opinions in part because you don't want the person you admire to judge you for being connected to a person they do not like.

These feelings and desires to be accepted runs deep. It starts when we are children and so many people still hold on to fears of rejection because of our own school experiences of wanting to fit in and be accepted by others. Also, following the herd of judgement is easy and it is unfortunately a cultural default. It is how hate and war begins and continues.

I wanted to bring this topic to light because there are so many potentially wonderful friendships that could enrich our lives if we could only step out of the automatic acceptance of what others say to be truth about someone else.

Online friendships and connections can be confusing. If we belong to communities that as a whole, have strong feelings toward someone we can easily be swayed without ever having met the person ourselves! What is this modeling to our children? If you are truly a free-thinker you will stop doing this and understand that more than likely the opinion someone else has about another is not necessarily one you would form.

In the last month, I have met a few people in person that others had "warned" me about, or talked negatively about. I decided to enter these new relationship with an open mind and clean slate. Isn't this what you would want someone to do when meeting you? Much to my surprise I really connected with and ended up loving the people that others did not! My truth was so very different than what others experienced.

Walking this path of personal growth I climbed up another rung in the ladder of enlightenment realizing how easily swayed I could be. I learned to never take the opinions of others (even those that I admire) as truth. I think being a free-thinker needs to constantly be extended to more and more areas of our lives. We research pregnancy, birth, parenting and education. It's time to research human beings and learn for ourselves who someone Is by meeting them in person or through our own effort to really get to know them online. Everyone deserves that basic human dignity and respect. If we can read what others are saying about someone with a critical mind and know that the opinions do not have to be yours, you can step into a higher level of love for fellow human beings who have feelings, fears and goodness within them.

Just. Like. You.

Free-think your friendships people! You are evolving and growing all the time. Be true to yourself and not a sheep in the herd of hate and negativity based on the opinions of others. Friend those you are drawn to without fear, or brainwashing by anothers reality and feelings. Once you do this, your heart will open to a new level of joy! You just may end up connecting with someone who will enrich your life in ways you could have never imagined!

"Do not think your Truth can be found by anyone else." Andre Gide

Life Rocks! Radical Unschooling Conference

2011-04-20T10:34:00.004-05:00

This week we organized and hosted the first ever Life Rocks! Radical Unschooling Conference in North Conway, NH. It was an incredible experience which forever changed many of us. I am so grateful for the co-creation that was Life Rocks!!

Check out this slideshow to see what the conference was all about! Hope to see you next year!!

Freedom of Speech

2011-03-23T08:42:00.025-05:00

Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them. ~Mark Twain, Notebook, 1935

Yes, that is my son, Orion giving the finger to the camera. Why? He thinks it is funny and he has the freedom to do so! What does this image bring up in you? Does he look like an evil, bad kid? Kind of. This is because you were conditioned to feel this way.

The truth is, my kids swear, and they are very loving, kind people who have the freedoms that most children do not. Orion is being silly, not disrespectful in this photo, but the image feels differently to those of us who were raised thinking that giving the finger is "bad".

I admit, Joe and I swear. Not compulsively or anything. We just choose words that our culture labels as bad or sinful and use them as adjectives, nouns and verbs every once in a while.

I do not choose to live by the ole', "Do as I say, not as I do." mentality. I find it disturbing and disrespectful. Instead, I know that if I choose to swear my kids will too. I take full responsiblity for this fact. My kids have the freedom to swear, as I do.

It's interesting to note that we do talk about swearing and how it

offends a lot of people. Before new friends come over Devin and Tiff always ask me if it is okay to swear around them. Some families have kids who also have this freedom and some do not. We share openly about it and the kids always respect it. Sometimes a swear will come out and there will be a kind of "Ooops" look on my kids face if they forget around certain people. It doesn't happen often though.

It seems so hypocritical to punish a child for swearing if you do it yourself. They are only words and shouldn't we all have the freedom to choose what we say? Isn't it a basic human right? Why is it a double standard for children? More and more parents are relaxing around the issue of children and swearing. The list of "bad words" was enormous in my mothers day compared to today.

When researching before writing this blog entry, I came across this in Wikipedia about swearing:

Tape-recorded conversations find that roughly 80–90 spoken words each day — 0.5% to 0.7% of all words — are swear words, with usage varying from between 0% to 3.4%. In comparison, first-person plural pronouns (we, us, our) make up 1% of spoken words.^[2]

Research looking at swearing in 1986, 1997, and 2006 in America found that the same top-ten words of a set of over 70 different swear words were used. The most-used swear words were fuck, shit,

hell, damn, goddamn, bitch, boner, and sucks. These eight made up roughly 80% of all profanities.^[2] Two words, fuck and shit, accounted for one-third to one-half of them.^[2] The phrase "Oh my God" accounts for 24% of American women's swearing.^[3]

(I thought it was funny that "boner" was a swear. I don't think I've ever used that one!)

Children are historically punished for swearing. I know a few people who swear every other word. I feel it is result of being punished as a child for swearing. Once the person finally has freedom of speech and their autonomy they make up for all of that past control and swear so much more than someone normally would.

My children do not swear anymore than I do really. Sometime Ivy will get stuck on a certain swear and try it out for a while and combine it with other swears in a creative way. Assbitch is one of her newest creative expressions.

Our children do have a clear understanding of when it is okay for them to do so, and when it is inappropriate. They have a respect for others who are uncomfortable with swearing.

At a recent visit to my friends house, she pulled out some organic alphabet cookies. The kids all sat together combing letter to make their names and spell out swears. They all had so much fun! We laughed and connected with our kids as they explored some words that our grandparents would have had soap put in their mouths for.

It was liberating and freeing to know that we didn't have to do what was done to us when we were kids when it came to swearing. It was light and fun and not at all serious.. I think some parents would be so much happier if they could lighten up about the whole swearing issue.

Here is a video I thought would be great to share with this entry.

The seven dirty words (or "Filthy Words")^[1] are seven English-language words that American comedian George Carlin first listed in 1972 in his monologue "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television". At the time, the words were considered highly inappropriate and unsuitable for broadcast on the public airwaves in the United States, whether radio or television. It's interesting that many of these "swears" are on television today. Times are changing and our culture is relaxing surrounding the issue of swearing. This is progress, growth and a good thing... in my world anyway.

Throwing Pots

2011-03-19T22:21:00.018-05:00

I just completed a pottery class. It was a great experience! I took Orion, to my last class and he helped glaze my work. I was so glad they were cool with me bringing him. He really wanted to go with me that night.

Learning how to "throw pots" was a magical experience. I have wanted to take a pottery class for years. I am so glad that I did it! I am glad that my children can see that learning never ends and that life is about expansion and growth. I really enjoy my life of learning!

My friend Karissa taught the class. She was such a patient teacher and talented craftsman. I remember when I would make a mistake she would share that the clay could just be something else. I have one trivet, that purple swirly one, that was initially going to be a bowl. It turned into a plate and finally, that trivet when I just couldn't make anything else out of it. I loved how Karissa stayed so positive and supportive of my work, never looking at it as a mistake when things didn't go like I planned when I was working with the clay.

Karissa took my birthing class about 5 years ago. We bartered for class and we just now completed the barter. My class for hers. It was so worth it. I actually thought a lot about birth while making pottery. I don't know if it was because I was with Karissa and that was our initial connection, or if there really was a parallel. You really are in partnership birthing whatever is going to be of your clay. You can't control it, but you have to maintain a steady support and trust of the process.

Phil and Karissa own the League of New Hampshire Craftsmen and are very talented artists. Phil gave Devin an amazing glass paperweight and vase years ago when he took my birthing class. Our family just loves Phil and Karissa and it was so nice to connect again and now, be learning from her. It was a blessing. Karissa was like a clay-Doula to me in every class. I loved that kind of support because pottery was challenging and I wanted to give up a few times.

One of the first steps of making something on the wheel is centering your clay. In order to do so, you must first center your mind. Creating pottery was a form of meditation for me. It took great focus and was much more physical than I thought it would be. At the same time it took great mental concentration.

I really enjoyed it and I would love to get a pottery wheel someday! I'm glad that I got to see Karissa in the depth of her passion. I got to know a side of her that I didn't know before. The give and take of life is so beautiful. Our friendship grew a new point of connection. I will always remember learning from her.

True Food Freedom!

2011-03-12T08:35:00.039-05:00

It might shock some people that my children can choose whatever they want from the supermarket, just like I do. Our financial limits vary from month to month, but within our budget, they have the freedom to choose what they want for snacks and meals. They will very often take their own cart and just go off and shop themselves.

Honesty and balance are important values to me in the relationship with my children. A friend once told me that her child wanted some candy at the store. She suggested a banana and told her child that he would get sick if he ate the candy. I personally would never say something that wasn't true to my children as a means to control, coerce or sway them in their choices. For my kids, some candy would not make them sick. In fact, if I said that to them and they ate it and did not get sick, how would that affect the trust between us in the future? I know they wouldn't take what I said as truth very much after that, knowing that the "information" that I was giving them was false and a means of control.

I believe that any foods in moderation are fine for our bodies. I know there are people with allergies and food intolerance's and I am not talking about those people here. I know there are exceptions to everything. Right now, I am sharing about my children who are healthy, happy and thriving who have real freedom with the foods that they choose to put in their bodies.

What is interesting to me about how some parents process freedom surrounding foods is that they tend to think in extremes with fear as the backdrop. If children have had food restrictions and limits and have been controlled in the past, and then suddenly these restrictions are lifted, the natural response is overindulgence with the foods that were taboo. The children do not know when and if the restrictions will be reinstated, so they get as much as they can struggling for their own autonomy. A grocery cart filled with candy, cakes, soda and chips would more than likely be what their choices would be. This image is what most in our culture think children with food freedoms would choose. In my experience with four children with food freedom, this is not the case at all!

Children with true food freedom make very different choices than the average person would ever guess! Just like you and I have the freedom to choose what we eat and we do not fill our carts with candy, cakes, chips and soda, neither do children with true food freedom.

When kids are allowed to tap into their own inner knowing and bodily cravings and they know about their bodies and what nourishes them, they can make choices in what they are just drawn to. I believe that this is the healthiest, most organic way to raise my children surrounding food. A healthy, balanced person with freedom to choose does not make unhealthy choices. It wouldn't make sense to my kids to not eat a balanced, healthy diet. They love and respect their bodies and crave and desire fruits, veggies, nuts, grains, protein and also sugars.

When some people read about my feelings surrounding food and freedom they assume that I must be ignorant about health and foods. What they do not realize is that I am a research junkie. Being a childbirth educator, LLL Leader and Doula, nutrition is something that I am very interested in. Our family is educated about foods, and yet, we have formed our own beliefs from our own research and experience. Some of the films we have seen about foods are, Dirt: The Movie, Food Fight, Food, Inc. Fresh, Killer at Large, King Corn, Super Size Me, The Future of Food and we are looking forward to the movie, "Food Stamped", about how hard it is to eat well on a really tight budget. I've read from the book, "Fast Food Nation" aloud to my kids. We are very aware and educated about genetically modified foods and organic foods. It is one of my passions in life to learn and be truly informed about being a good consumer when it comes to food. My children are interested too, especially Devin right now. (He cried when we watched Food, Inc. watching chickens being kicked and mistreated.)

I also know that my feelings about the foods I eat is what I will experience. If I believe something is bad for me, it will be. If I believe that my body is strong and healthy and that I can eat anything - even fast food - in moderation and maintain my health, it will be my experience... and it is! I can count on one hand how many time over the last five years that my children and I have been sick. We are so healthy with the mindset that we have about food. We are educated, informed yet still hold our own beliefs as consumers. We don't make choices in fear. We make choices from a place of joy and love in what we are drawn to.

I also do not blame my children's "behavior" on certain ingredients in foods like so many parents in our culture today do. So much is blamed on foods and I believe this attitude is so unhealthy for the parent/child relationship. I feel that the parents aren't taking the responsibility for their role in their children's behavior and are using foods as a catch-all blame bucket. Parents today are desperately trying to control what their kids eat in an attempt to control them. A more respectful way to parent, in my eyes, would be to focus on the needs under a child's behavior, instead of trying to control behavior with food restrictions and limits.

Honesty and trust are paramount to a child having a healthy, balanced relationship with foods also. I personally do not have fears, or taboos with certain foods like many people in our culture today do. There is nothing off-limits to my family. The entire grocery store is our buffet and we choose from everything there, without limiting ourselves when we enter. We love farmers markets and we have a very large garden that the kids help with and enjoy also. We love food and trust our bodies.

I believe that the human body is not as fragile as most people believe today. I know that my body takes what it needs and what it doesn't need it gets rid of. I do not believe that there are foods that can damage my body. I believe that my body is strong, resilient, competent and I trust it completely.

There are so many evolving, changing beliefs surrounding foods today. I personally buy and eat what I am drawn to and know that all food is nourishment to my strong, capable body. Moderation and balance naturally takes place when you have no fears, taboos, limits or controls over foods in the family.

I think coming to this place in life surrounding foods and how I respect my kids choices is a combination of things. It is my personal beliefs surrounding my body and the foods that I put in it. It is the trust I have of my children's choices. I give information about foods and my children have the freedom to choose what they want based on their knowledge and what they are drawn to and craving.

Devin chooses fruits, breads, chicken and nuts when we shop. He loves smoothies too! Tiff and Ivy love berries, hummus and veggies, tuna fish, meats and trail mixes. Orion loved veggies, nuts, breads and fruit. My kids also enjoy popcicles, ice cream, pretzels and yes, even candy and potato chips! When they choose the candy I don't tell them, "You can get that, but it will make you feel sick". I respect their balanced choices and I know that they are healthy, capable and competent beings when it comes to foods. I have faith in their bodies ability to take what it needs and leave the rest.

I think when people envision children having food freedom they are basing their image on the distrusting, disrespectful ideas that most people have of children's choices. Most people have never witnessed truly free children. They are basing their beliefs on children with limits and controls which may have been temporarily lifted. Kids are often looked at as not capable, or experienced enough to know what is good for them and what isn't. I believe that children are so much closer to balance then adults are because of the fearful mixed messages and conflicting ideas surrounding food in our society that we have been conditioned with.

I also believe strongly in choosing foods that make me happy. It may sound simple, but it feels so right to me. In our family we all choose foods that make us smile and make us feel good. I know that happiness and good feelings are my guide in life. I have lived by this belief for almost five years now and our lives have never been richer. I love to share this with others because it is a little secret that anyone can apply to their own lives. Walk into the grocery store with love in your heart instead of fear. Choose items based on love and what makes you feel good. You'll be surprised at your experience and what you bring home!

My children make balanced, healthy choices of what they put into their bodies because they have true food freedom and have parents who value honesty and connection above all else. My only "agenda" is my child's freedom and happiness in life. Healthy, balanced food choices are simply a side effect of freedom trust , honesty and love.... Love of food and love of ourselves.

The Boy Who Loved Dresses

2011-03-10T08:27:00.010-05:00

When Devin was three years old he asked me if he could wear one of my maternity dresses. I gladly helped him into it, along with a pair of tights, per his request.

He danced around the living room watching the dress swirl with him with every move he made. He leaped from the couch and coffee table looking behind as the dress slowly floated behind him like a cape. He was so happy. He loved wearing my small, short, maternity dresses, that fit him just right. I used clothespins and paper clips in the neck and waist to cinch in the measurements to fit him more comfortably. He would say, "Mama! Watch me dance!" with a pure appreciation for himself and what he was capable of.

When friends would come over, they would respectfully celebrate his love for dresses with him, commenting on how nicely he danced and how great the dresses looked on him. I am so fortunate to have always had loving, supportive friends who have respected my children when most people would judge.

Not everyone in our family was supportive of our choice to allow Devin to wear dresses when he wanted to. Close family warned us that if we "let" him wear dresses he would grow up confused and it would somehow "screw him up" as a person. They were well-intentioned when they encouraged us to buy him more "appropriate" clothing for his gender, like pink collar shirts, or boys button down shirts with Hawaiian flowers. I think some family assumed his intentions were something they were not. The assumptions that he wanted to "be a girl" just because he wore a dress were far-reaching and exaggerations of the simple fact that my son loved to wear dresses. I wouldn't have minded if he wanted to be a girl, and I would have supported him in that desire, but Devin still loved being a boy! He just wanted to express a feminine part of himself that is often stifled in boys in our culture. I was encouraged to bring him to a psychiatrist to evaluate him.

I never listened to anyone but Devin and my own heart. I knew that the fear surrounded Devin's dress wearing was just that - fear! I knew that the only way that I could ever damage my son would be to not allow him to express himself in the way he felt was right for him, even at three years old! I knew that the fear that others had in Devin wearing a dress was just their own issues and that I never had to take their "advice" and bring my son for a psychological evaluation, or make him wear pink colored boy shirts - instead of his beloved dresses.

Listening to my son and respecting his desires in what he has been drawn to over the years has never led me wrong. I trust him fully in his own inner knowing about what is good for him.

Devin wore dresses all day, almost everyday for over four years! We stood by his side and supported his passion for dresses with unwaivering certainty in his wholeness as a person. We helped him on with his tights and zipped up the back of his three favorite dresses for years, with love.

Today, Devin is boy who loves to play video games, build things, shoot his BB gun, ride in his Kayak, create stories and so much more. He has not worn dresses for six years, but if he ever wanted to again, I would gladly support him. I am so happy that he was always able to express himself and I have always trusted him.

We may not know what need is being filled by some of our children's actions and choices in life. Quite honestly, I do not think it is our business to pry into our children's minds to try to find out, because in doing so is when we damage them and make assumptions based on others fears most of the time. It is my role to support my children's choices, without judgement.

One thing is for sure, I will always be by my children's side in whatever they choose to do, or have, or be in life. Unconditionally.

I am so glad that I have listened to my inner guidance from the beginning with my kids.

Devin is a joyful, content, whole and healthy person. I am so glad that he was able to truly be *him* and wear dresses for the years that it met a need within him. I will never forget him dancing around the living room, with pure bliss in his eyes, spinning and leaping and able to be who he was at that moment. I still have his favorite yellow dress, which is now full of holes and little rips from being worn and washed so much over the years. I sometimes take it out of my top drawer as a reminder to never stop respecting, honoring and listening to myself and my children.

Sometimes boys just want to wear dresses and it's all good!

Passion of the American Girl

2011-01-28T17:53:00.007-05:00

Tiff and Ivy have best friends who are sisters. They live in Florida, and we live in New Hampshire. They manage to talk every single day and Skype regularly and have maintained an amazingly close relationship despite their distance.

A passion that keeps them all close are their mutual love for American Girl Dolls. It is the topic of most of their discussions and they connect deeply through this love for their dolls.

The girls best friends, who are also Unschooled, came for a visit. I decided to take them all for a day trip to the American Girl Doll store in Boston, Massachusetts. It was a three hour drive each way, but it was so worth it! We had a special best friends lunch together in honor of the girls friendship and they all brought their dolls along. It was a very sweet, touching experience as a grown woman to witness the love that they all shared. I surprised them with a special best friends cake and the dolls even had a piece!

Sometimes our children's passions are costly. American Girl Dolls cost $100 each and the accessories are hundreds of dollars. Over the last two years of my daughters passion, we have found ways to bring as much of these treasured dolls into their lives as possible. Craig's List has been a great source for gently used items, as well as eBay. More recently, I helped Tiff sell some old toys on eBay and at our local pawn shop to purchase the "Doll of the Year", Kanani. (We are anxiously awaiting her arrival in the mail.)

Connecting with our children and their interests is something very important to us as Radical Unschooling parents. Celebrating what they love is a pleasure and so important for our relationship. Whatever they are interested in at the time is the nucleus of their learning, and they have grown and learned so much through their interest in American Girl Dolls.

Although we do not break life down into subjects, if we were to, we would see that they have learned about history (many of the dolls are historical figures), reading,(AG Magazine) spelling/writing (communicating with other AG fans and learning all about them online), math (calculating costs of dolls and accessories) Woodworking, )The girls have each made many pieces of furniture by hand and used measurements/math, to do so) Art, (they have made play foods out of polymer clay and used every craft material known to man to make fun accessories). Music, (each of them have made stop-animation videos, which uses so many skills). The list of all they that have learned, spanning all of the "subjects", is immense. All stemming from the nucleus - their passion, American Girl Dolls. The more I support and nurture their interest, the more they learn.

I will never forget nurturing not only my daughters passion, but their best friends passion also. It was a time that they will never forget and I know that I will someday look back on this time in our lives fondly and sweetly. I am so grateful to be walking this path with my children and to be fortunate enough to be surrounded by loving families who are doing the same so we can co-facilitate our children's passions and learning together as a growing community.

Heal Thyself

2011-01-28T14:21:00.007-05:00

In the last five years I have learned so much about the power of the mind. I have read hundreds of books on self improvement, positive thinking, and the law of attraction. I have done things that I never knew were possible. I'd love to share a story of my healing.

I have worn glasses since I was a child. A few years ago, I learned that it was possible to cure poor eyesight through the power of intention. I began telling myself that I could see clearly and I threw my glasses away. I began noticing my eyesight getting better as the days went on. What was once fuzzy for me to read, I could see as clearly as I did with glasses a week before!

I really trusted that my body could heal itself. I think that was the most important aspect of being able to truly heal my eyes. I *knew* that I could do it. I believed in my own ability and never doubted so a moment that it couldn't be done.

I told myself that I could see perfectly. I ate well, took vitamins and Krill Oil, both of which I learned was helpful in healing yourself of any illness. I began exercising regularly and eating well. So much of being able to do this was my trust in my own ability and combining it with a holistic way of living.

It only took me a couple of weeks to completely get my eyes at 20/20! I visited the eye doctor to confirm my healing. He was *floored* when I told him that I healed myself and gave me an eye exam and confirmed that I had perfect eyesight! He said that in all of his years of being an eye doctor he has never seen anyone heal their eyes before without surgery.

Your beliefs are very powerful! If you believe you can heal yourself, you will take actions and make decisions based on this belief and create the outcome you desire. You can then do things you never knew were possible!

If I had only listened to my eye doctor who said the only way to fix my eyes was with surgery, I would have never attempted to do it myself. I am so glad that I was introduced to another way to view my own power in my personal health. My doctor wanted to know my secret. I told him it was about believing in your inner ability and never expecting anything less than seeing perfectly. I turned him onto a more holistic perspective to eye care that he now may use in his own practice!

I am so grateful to have been able to heal myself over a year ago. My eyes grow stronger everyday and I now see better than I ever have! My inner and outer vision are now in perfect alignment and life just keeps getting better and better!

Ask - Believe - Receive!

The Life Rocks! Radical Unschooling Conference

2011-01-16T13:14:00.006-05:00

I am so excited to share that we have organized a Radical Unschooling Conference to take place this April! There are so many events, Joyshops and inspiring speakers! It is at an amazing resort with an indoor water park.

We also have a yahoo group to join where you can ask questions and connect with others who are attending. You can join the group here.

We hope to see you there rockin' the Revolution with us!

About Partnership, Possibilities, Natural Math and Mind Freedom

2010-11-14T07:59:00.011-05:00

Unschooling is a free-flowing experience. It takes trust on several levels, but in one way it means to truly believe the idea that learning and life are not separate. It is knowing that your children will learn "the basics", through living a life with many resources and unwavering parental support.

Last night the kids really wanted to go out to dinner to Friendly's. It is their favorite place to go for dinner and they always get the same thing.

I shared with them that we only had half of the spending money of what it normally costs us to eat out there. I offered a few options to make it possible. I jumped online and found a coupon. It was "buy one adult dinner and get a kid's meal free". Cool! There is one meal free! I also thought that Joe and I could share a meal. I asked the girls if they minded giving Orion one quarter of their meals each.

I showed the girls what I meant by one quarter by drawing graphs and explaining how much of their meal they would be sharing with Orion. Tiff then drew a graph herself and exclaimed that Orion would have half of a meal if they each shared a quarter of theirs and half was perfect for for him!

The graphs were helpful tools to her in that moment and I was there to share useful information with her. Unschooled kids do learn math, but in a way that isn't linear. It is in bits and pieces when needed. My kids have learned "math", when they have actually needed it in their lives. These bits and pieces are like drops in a puddle that slowly grow to form a very broad and balanced education of math over the childhood years. We are here as parents offering tools and resources and our kids are receptive and desire what we share with them.

It turned out that by buying only three meals (with a fourth meal being the free kids meal) was plenty for our family of six. We were able to meet the needs of everyone in the family through discussion and figuring a way out together to make it work. When money is an issue most people tend to get in a negative vibration when they think they can't afford something. I've learned that by shifting to possibility, options are created.

When a child uses math as a tool to understand the world around them, it is learned easily and precisely. When learned in context with their own real life experiences, it goes from being something that is "hard" to learn, to "a cool way to figure something else out". My children never have to memorize the "times tables". They do however understand and use multiplication and fractions as a tool in their lives to figure the world around them out.

Memorization is not learning. In fact it takes up the precious space of thoughts and desire of the person being forced to memorize. Think of the unique, rich tapestry of the uncontrolled mind! This to me is a level of freedom and respect that all humans deserve, but rarely get to experience.

A traditional education is like handing a child a "paint by numbers" project, while standing over their shoulder commenting on their work. It feels safe, and you think you know how it will turn out.

An Unschooled life is like handing a child a blank canvas while you both create together with the sound of beautiful music in the background. It feels connected, peaceful, creative, unique and perfectly individualized. True Human Potentiality Blossoms. ☼

Contentment

2010-11-10T21:58:00.001-05:00

Revisiting Drawing

2010-11-10T14:06:00.005-05:00

Devin has been interesting in drawing recently. He found several books about drawing in our home library and he also went online to check out some drawing videos and websites. He keeps a portfolio of his work and even made a drawing desk!

Here are a few of his latest drawings.

Family Museum

2010-11-10T12:51:00.004-05:00

Devin had the idea of creating a Family Museum. He felt as though we have so many interesting things in our home and on our property that we could display them to initiate discussion. I loved the idea!

We plan on changing the items every month or so. What a fun new way for us to learn more about and display historic and interesting items from our attic, cellar, or dug up from our yard!

Everyday Beauty

2010-11-10T09:11:00.004-05:00

Here is a pile of stuff Joe pulled out of the heater before we started using the wood furnace again. It is a ritual for him to clean it every year. When looking at this lint and scrap pile, I began to recognise all of the little things we did throughout the year together to make this pile of love. Crafts, coloring, playing with our birds and reading were just some of the things we did in that spot of the house. The memories and love were there! I felt them in this tiny pile that I almost just threw away.

It reminded me to slow down and life and look closer at everything... even things we usually do not take a second glance at. You never know what you may see!

Quick Share - Halloween!

2010-11-10T09:04:00.003-05:00

We had a great Halloween this year! I made purple and orange pancakes for breakfast, and then served this spooky soup!

It was the perfect meal to warm my family on a chilly fall night, before we ventured into the night for trick or treating!

It is tomato soup, with green colored sour cream on the top as the web. The spider is made out of crescent rolls formed into the spider shape.

The kids love this so much that it has become a Martin family tradition!

Here the kids are trading and sorting candy after a night of fun!

Rock On Ely!

2010-11-10T08:52:00.006-05:00

A few days ago, we lost a friend and fellow Unschooling parent this week. Ely Rodriguez died suddenly in his home with his wife, Denise and son Logan with him.

Ely could make anyone smile and his presence lit up a room. We had a lot of fun at Unschooling conferences and developed a Facebook friendship. We looked forward to seeing him in Ohio this year for the Unschoolers Waterpark Gathering. I am glad that Denise is still planning on coming with her kids.

Ely was someone who was wild, free, happy and naturally spread his love to others. His flare for life was infectious! He was an amazing dancer and fabulous singer.

Ely, I am so grateful to have been your friend. Thank you for the joy you brought into our lives and the lives of others. We will miss you so much!

Design Remix

2010-11-10T08:39:00.012-05:00

We have a large space over Willow Toys that we use as a large family room. I became inspired recently to create more interesting spaces for my children.

I created a dress up area using mirrors at varying heights so that all of the kids could use the area. I love how the mirrors look mismatched. Most of these belonged to my grandmother.

The other area are little play cubbies for each one of our children. They love having their own little "rooms" over in our large family room. They aren't quite finished yet. Joe is adding decorative, finishing touches and paint that each of our kids picked out.

I cut the legs in half on this round table to create a Japanese inspired table with floor chairs around it. There is a small area for books and magazines now too!

The fall weather and upcoming holidays always inspire me to go through our stuff and find new uses for it! Everything pictured we already had, I just pulled it all together in a new way!

Siblings as Learning Facilitators

2010-10-14T20:29:00.015-05:00

As our children have grown, they have naturally stepped into an occasional role of helping to facilitate their siblings learning.

Sometimes Devin helps Ivy look up information online by showing her the many resources out there from Wikipedia, YouTube, Google. Sharing information and showing or teaching another something is said to aide in the path to learning about a topic in depth.

This is an interesting aspect of living this life and something that I have never written about before. It is becoming more and more often that they are doing this with one another and with us! To see us all grow together as a family of passionate learners feels so good. It is a very powerful, blissful, intense life of constant growth.

As Ivy grows, she is taking this role with Orion at times. Here she is helping him learn to fold clothes. She was so patient and loving. She solidified her own ability and knowledge about folding laundry by teaching another. Some people learn a lot from sharing with other people. My kids have learned to joyfully support and help their siblings because they all get something positive out of it. It is a learn-learn dynamic!

This is a beautiful evolution which deepens my roots in my Truth.

Interest-Driven Learning

2010-10-14T18:36:00.020-05:00

Being part of the life of an Unschooled child is inspiring to me. It's an honor to witness natural learning. So pure. So joyful. My children learn so much through totally immersing themselves in an interest. Sometimes an interest will last one day, sometimes months, and sometimes it goes back and forth. My kids very often pick something up again after not being interested for a long time - sometimes years!

Devin is interested in Lego's again ~ a passion that has ebbed and flowed naturally for years. It was cool to see his vast collection of Mini Figs make an appearance on the kitchen table after being in his closet for so long. He collected them years ago, when he was around 7 and 8. He's almost 12 now and is playing with them all over again, but in a different way than he did years ago. He's making stop-animation videos with them now, using the collection as a tool for his new interest.

Here are just a few of Devin's other current passions, interests and ideas from this week.

Devin made hangers and shelving for his instruments in his music room.

He had the idea to attach branches to the ceiling to hang special trinkets from.

He made a Zen Garden for our family to enjoy. It is so beautiful!

He began learning an "Elvish" language after being inspired by a girl he met in Australia who spoke it. She was an always unschooled girl who had taught herself this very complex language created by J. R. R. Tolkien.

Devin received a very special instrument in the mail this week. An Ocarina. He learned about it from his interest in a video game called, "Zelda". Much of the music in the game was created with the Ocarina. You can never know what someone else takes from an experience. I'm so glad that I always trusted him in his choices, because by limiting his choices, I would be limiting his learning and making his world so much smaller. I want to give my kids as huge of a world as possible.

Here Devin is playing his new instrument at a river near our home. We walked there today because he said he plays best when he is out in nature with the sound of the water.

An Unschoolers Focus

2010-10-03T11:48:00.020-05:00

Radical Unschooling is a very present-based philosophy for most families. The focus is on the joy, partership and connection.

Children are naturally living in the present and rarely focus or worry about the future in the way that most adults in our culture do.

It's interesting to me that our culture raises kids to be so future focused. We then spend years as adults trying to undo this mental mindset through yoga, meditation and self-help books to convert us back to our natural way of being, which is to be more Present.

I feel that Radical Unschooling is the most natural, Zen way for children to live. When we never take this default way of being in the present away from children, they never have to go through all that so many of us have to do to get back to the state of being that feels so good and so natural.

Yes, my kids are different in the sense that they are very Present. They do not worry about the future. I wish that more kids in our culture had this choice. Some parents may be afraid of that and may not want to live a life outside of the mainstream because they don't want their kids to stand out, or be different from their peers. Many parents worry because they don't want their kids to get made fun of, hurt emotionally in some way from not thinking and living in the same way as other kids their age. This worry is the perfect example of a "fear-of the future" based mindset, which is our culturally conditioned way of being.

I am proud that my kids are different in their focus on life. They have a depth of happiness and self-worth that I did not know until I was an adult. Through Radical Unschooling we never take away this very natural way of *Being* from our children. Their inner guidance is respected, trusted and never silenced by others agendas. They are pure and unfettered. What others think of them isn't a concern in the way it was to most of us as children.

I know in my heart that that happy moments lead to happy days, happy weeks, happy months and happy years. A joyful, fulfilling life overflowing with self-love is the result of a happy childhood. When a child is able to live in Freedom pursuing their passions and interests with non-judgment and support they have so many opportunities for growth and expansion. I never worry about my childrens future. This sounds crazy for some people to hear. My trust is so strong because the "future" is now.

Here are a few things that Devin created this week. The first one is a painting he made on a wall in our basement and the other is a type of origami.

The focus in his art brings tears to my eyes. I am so grateful that his Life and own happiness is a focus. Not performance, or rewards, or what others think. He is living in a state that many of us are striving to later in life. I truly believe that for us, Radical Unschooling is the most natural, organic and authentic way for our children to live. It enables our kids to always stay connected to their Source with unwavering self-love. When their cup is overflowing, they have so much more love to give to others.

Our Australian Adventure

2010-09-28T13:41:00.018-05:00

We just returned home from an amazing trip to Australia. Our family was invited to visit by the organizers of the first ever Unschooling Conference in the land down under.

I had the honor of being the Keynote speaker, and what an experience!It took us two days to get there traveling on 4 planes each way. It was intense and exciting.

The conference itself was fabulous. One of the best we've ever been part of. There was over a hundred families in attendance. We made so many new friends and connected with people we've known online for years.

I knew the conference would be exciting, but I had no idea it would enrich our lives in such a powerful way.We were in Australia for a total of three weeks. The first week was the Unschooling conference and the last two were left for relaxation, exploring and visiting with new friends. Our villa was right on the beach, which was so nice. Waking to the sounds of the many local birds was one of my favorite memories of the mornings there.

Joe and Devin both spoke at the conference. Joe led the Fathers session and Devin spoke on a panel of Unschooled Kids. It was the first time Devin spoke about our life in public. I was in awe of how well and confidently he answered questions thrown at him.One thing that I've learned from the experience is that we as humans have so many more similarities than differences. My Australian friends were so much like me in the way that we choose to live our lives. Our respect for our children and desire for freedom were the same. Our intent for joy and peace were another common thread.

The night before we left, I walked to the conference site. I stood there amongst the trees and grass, where the tents once stood. I reached up to the sky and my eyes filled with tears of gratitude for all that was brought to that sacred space. I was humbled by nature in place of our tents, laughing children and gathering of kindred spirits. I thanked the Universe for allowing me be a voice for respectful, peaceful parenting.

A few days before we jumped on a plane back home to America, Erica and Maree, the conference organizers, asked me to come back for next years' conference. Never in my wildest dreams would I think that we would return to Australia! Of course... we all said "yes!"

I am so grateful to have been able to travel the world speaking about something that I am so passionate about. I know that I've only just begun all that I am meant to do in my life. Great things are happening and the world is shifting to a evolved consciousness in regards to parenting, children and peace.

I am proud to be part of this growing movement.

of Birth

2010-08-20T21:27:00.010-05:00

Around 9:30pm the other night, my Doula client needed my support because labor had begun. After talking to her husband I headed over to their house, which was filled with items to welcome their new baby boy.

The birth was amazing. Having the experience of giving birth four times myself, I can approach childbirth education from a personal experience. I share a lot about the Law of Attraction in my birthing classes and discuss the concept of creating the birth you want by feeling more Joy during pregnancy and birth. It's very different than any other birthing "method".

This was a very fast birth and during that time, the husband was so emotionally supportive, that I was able to grab their camera and snap several photos of them together. I SO wish that I have photos like that when my kids were born. I have *very* few photos because I never took the responsibility to "assign" that to someone at my births.

I took this photo during the part of labor called, "transition". It is the most amazing picture because it looks like you can see the intense energy coming from the Mom!

This was the most powerful birth that I have ever attended. Seeing the laboring Mom Joyful in labor is something that I rarely get to witness in hospital births. Watching her smile during pushing made me realize that teaching about birth with the law of attraction component was the secret to empowering and educating couples about birth in a very positive way.

I am sure that other Doulas can relate when I share that this was one of those births that changed me. It gave me even more affirmation that I am on the right path. I love being a Doula and childbirth educator. I am very passionate about helping people learn the Truth about birth and all of the options and choices that couples today are faced with.

I am working on a book called, "Attraction Birth". It's taking a bit longer than I anticipated to finish the book, because I have a few births lined up and really want to go through the experiences before finishing. I plan on offering teacher trainings all over the country to train and certify childbirth educators in, "Attraction Birth". It will be a new and exciting adventure!

Birth is something that changed my entire life philosophy and beliefs. The way that Devin was brought into this world was the very first step onto the path of Trust, Respect and Freedom that we are living today. I know that by educating others about options, I am not only opening doors for them that they didn't know were there for their birth, but for parenting and educating and health care and everything else that follows.

Tablescaping

2010-08-14T16:26:00.011-05:00

Something that I have been doing for years is creating tablescapes. We were inspired by Waldorf-style nature tables for a quite a while. It slowly turned into themed tables where the "only use things from nature" Waldorf "rule" got old here quick. I loved making nature tables but wanted to expand it outward to really be something that enriched our life and that was a fun discussion and inspiration point in our home.

Tablescapes began to take form every month or so, inspired by one of our interests. I often times start it with a theme and then the family adds to it if they want to. I love that it is such an organic, interesting art form that grows as long as you have it out. It has real depth and shadows. Depending on the time of day you see it differently according to where the sun is shining into our home. We all enjoy moving things around, or adding something fun to it.

Tablescapes are something that our family has learned from, laughed over, got lost in daydreaming, and become inspired from. Whatever your families current passion is, be it Legos or Legumes you can create a Tablescape to celebrate, honor and explore a certain topic in an unique and artistic way. The possibilities are endless!

I'd love to see photos of your tablescapes! Please place a link, if you'd like to share, in the comments section of this entry.

Creation Inspiration

2010-08-13T16:37:00.012-05:00

I thought that it would be fun to share some snapshots of a few of the things that we have created this week.

I made a stone path through the woods leading to Devin's treehouse.

Devin built a tree house earlier in the week and yesterday added a workshop to it on the bottom level.

I made Blueberry Margaritas from frozen blueberries that we picked at Foss Mountain.

Devin made what he calls "Chinese Slippers" out of wood and rope.

Tiff made our family in Doll Ghost Form. So cute!

Devin made a knife from heating metal scraps in a fire and them pounding it into shape. He then made a handle from a wooden dowel and velvet rope.

Joe made a garden waterer for next years garden. We are prepping the ground already and Joe invented this awesome waterer out of an twelve-foot perforated pipe that is often used for septic systems.

Devin created a "foot washer" for us to use before we go in for the night. In the summer none of us wear shoes, so our tootsies need a hose-down at the end of the day. Devin's invention is really useful! I'm so grateful to him for making something to make our life easier and more fun!

Devin made a necklace out of pine. He sanded it down for a long time creating a smooth, beautiful look. (He says it also doubles as a weapon or decoration )

Children of the New Paradigm

2010-08-10T07:49:00.008-05:00

We take it from our children starting in preschool, then once they hit their teen years, we are trying to give it back to them. We see that some kind of spark is missing. It's their self-love and inner knowing.

The institution of traditional parenting and school is set up in such a way that parents end up believing that they need to help instill self-worth to children. It seems a prevalent idea that self-esteem and confidence is something that needs to be "gained".

Our unschooled children who are growing up in a partnership paradigm usually never loose the self-worth that all humans are born with. From the moment we are born, our default setting is to love ourselves. It is all part of human survival. You do not see an animal in the wild insecure or living with low self esteem. It isn't something that needs to be gained or instilled in children, unless kids are robbed of it through living a life where others value obedience above all else.

In the old paradigm, parents and educators create the very problems they are trying to later "fix", In the same way a doctors preventative actions often times cause problems in birth and then the doctor ends up placing themselves in the role of the "hero" rescuing the woman and her baby from certain trauma, the current model creates low self-esteem and insecurity that it later tries to fix and then it seems that the institution is to thank for their child feeling better about themselves.

When we are living a life in the new paradigm, kids never loose their inner knowing of Who They Are. They do not need to rely on others telling them their greatness to know their greatness. I find it facinating, but a very signifigant differnce from how I felt as a child...My children do not care what others think about them. This doesn't mean that they don't care about others feelings or needs. On the contrary.... my children have a great deal of empathy for others. They just do not value what others think of them as any reflection of how they measure their own self-worth.

My children love themselves Unconditionally, because they are loved without conditions.

Radical Music

2010-08-05T13:43:00.006-05:00

Introducing my children to new and exciting experiences is in one of my roles as a Radical Unschooling Mom. If given the choice between experiencing something new, or doing something we have done before, our family almost always chooses a new experience.

When our friends from Texas came to visit recently they brought with them Singing Bowls and a Didgeridoo.

Singing bowls (also known as Himalayan bowls, rin, medicine bowls, Tibetan bowls or suzu gongs in Japan) are a type of bell, specifically classified as a standing bell. Rather than hanging inverted or attached to a handle, standing bells sit with the bottom surface resting. They have the most unique, beautiful sound.

A Didgeridoo is a wind instrument developed by Indigenous Australians of northern Australia at least 1,500 years ago and is still in widespread usage today both in Australia and around the world. It consists of a long hollowed out log, which, when blown into, produces a low, deep mesmerising drone with sweeping rhythms.

It was so exciting learning about these instruments and listening to them. We all got to try out the singing bowls and really enjoyed playing them! Living a full, exciting life, rich with opportunities, experiences and resources is important to us in the life we choose to live with our family.

Every week it is something new to learn, grow and share together. What an awesome new experience. I'm very grateful to my friends for sharing so much of themselves during our visit together!

Peace, Love and Fairy Houses

2010-08-02T19:43:00.009-05:00

One of my children's favorite outdoor activities is building Fairy Houses. It's somewhat of a tradition in the Northeast, and especially with our family!

The Fairies often leave our children tiny rocks and gems in gratitude. They run outside first thing in the morning to see what the fairies left them that night.

Materials

Sticks, Bark, Pine cones, Flowers, Berries, Pebbles, Pussy Willow Branches, Feathers
Other natural materials such as shells and stones

Instructions

Pick a safe, protected spot (for example, against a tree or stone wall) to place your fairy house. Watch out for poison ivy... (I found this out hard way this week!)

Poke sticks and bark into the ground and prop them against each other to hold the walls and roof in place.Use large stones as the foundation and build up with sticks from them.
Use pine cones for a fanciful fence, tiny pebbles for a pathway to the front door, a bent pussy willow branch as an archway, and a feather to decorate the birch bark chimney (and can double as a flag or a plume of smoke).

When the home is finished you can tuck a house-warming present inside. For instance: a pussy willow bud (fairies use them for pillows), an acorn cap cup (perfect for mint tea), stems of lavender (splendid wands), ripe berries, or some other surprise.

Tiffs Tips:

1. Although woodland houses are usually made, beach houses or backyard bungalows are also appreciated. Tiff recently made an entire house out of shells and starfish!

2. Build the house out of natural materials, such as fallen twigs, driftwood, pine cones, and bark found on the ground. Don't pick materials from living plants or trees and sure not to disturb an animal's home.

3. Build houses year-round, not just in the summertime. Fairies love finding cozy spots after a snowstorm.

How Unschoolers Learn

2010-07-31T15:27:00.009-05:00

Devin and Joe watched a new show on the Discovery Channel this week. It is called, "The Colony". They have been seeing previews for weeks and couldn't wait for it to air! They loved the show because it is about a topic that interests them both. I made them snacks and helped to make the experience of the premiere a special one.

THE COLONY features on-going commentary and input from experts in homeland security, engineering, psychology and the medical community, with expertise and insight into what the future could look like after a biological disaster. Throughout this season, the colonists face daunting physical and emotional challenges as they attempt to survive in a world void of all the niceties they've ever known, including environmental dangers such as disastrous weather and indigenous wildlife." Discoverytv.com

Devin was intrigued when they made a water purifier on the show after a mock disaster. He was SO inspired! When he woke up the morning after the show, he had a plan to create one and let us know everything he needed to make it. Joe and I facilitated his desire to make one himself in various ways. I got him a T-Shirt for part of the filter, Joe helped him make charcoal. Not much really, because it was something *He* wanted to do. We told him to let us know how we could help him if he needed it.

Devin was so engrossed in the project that he *Shined* during the creation of it, as he was so in alignment with his desires and who he was in the moment.

Unschoolers learn when they are internally motivated. This desire to create, learn and explore is infectious and can not be stopped. Passions are like flames that grow into roaring fires with love, nurturing and support from involved, connected parents.

What Devin made was something that aids in the health and benefit of humanity. He took one of the most important components of human life and with his interest, desire and own two hands, learned about and then created a way to turn undrinkable water into pure, clean water. This life skill is one that he values very much. The confidence and skills that he gained from this project has inspired him to create and invent similar tools of survival.

Love it Forward

2010-07-19T07:45:00.012-05:00

As we are preparing for our trip to Australia for the first ever Unschooling Conference down under, I am reminded of our trip to England last summer. It was such an honor to be the keynote speaker for the London Unschooling Conference. I loved the location, the people and the organizers. It was unforgettable.

On the flight home there was a mother traveling alone with two kids who were sitting next to us. Being such a big family, we took up almost a whole row of seats on the plane. As we took off, I could see the mother getting impatient with her kids. She had a two year old and a child around six. The two year old was standing on the seat looking at the people behind us. The mother was so frustrated and I saw her squeezing her daughters leg really hard. She talked in a really low, angry voice scolding her. My heart hurt seeing this, and Joe and I began talking about how cruel this mother way being to her kids.

As I judged this mother, it began feeling bad focusing such negativity toward her. I had a moment of realization that I could extend this parenting philosophy of respect and kindness to her and see what happens. I could choose to focus on this mothers needs under her behavior and see how I could help her and her kids. I could maybe make a difference and be guided by love and respect instead of judgement and feeling, "better than". This was a pivotal moment in my life and advocacy.

I quietly asked Devin if he would switch seats with me so that I could sit next to this mother. As we rearranged I saw her look up at me with hopeless, tired eyes. I smiled at her and tried to focus loving, kind energy toward her. I looked into her eyes. I asked her, "Are you alright? Can I help you at all?". She slowly lowered her head and started crying into her hands.

She told me that she had been traveling for over two days. She was visiting her family in Africa and she was finally on her way home to see her husband who she hadn't seen in three months. Her luggage had been lost and she missed her last flight. She shared that she was exhausted and hungry and had absolutely nothing left to give to her kids. She said to me, "I'm normally much kinder to my children".

My heart opened to her. I offered her a hug and when I did, she began sobbing. I told her not to worry and that we would help her out in the last leg of her journey. We rearranged seats again so that Tiff was sitting next to her daughter around the same age. For the rest of the flight they laughed and played games and watched movies. She gratefully accepted our help. I walked her two year old daughter up and down the aisles of the plane. At one point I looked over to see that the mother was sound asleep in her seat. Our family happily entertained her children for over 5 hours. When the Mom woke up, I got her a cup of tea and a sandwich. She looked refreshed and renewed. She hugged her daughters and played with them the rest of the flight.

In the beginning of the flight, when I saw this mom, I judged her. I instantly built a wall between she and I. I viewed us as two very different people with opposite parenting philosophies. Devin and Tiff saw this mothers actions and commented on how mean she appeared to be acting to her kids. When I asked how I could help, my children also witnessed me shift from judgement to understanding and love for this woman. It was a moment in my life of personal growth and one that my children learned so much from also. When we judge someone, we don't know their story or their path. We instantly shut down the possibility to spread peace and love and make a difference in the lives of others. When we look beyond the surface we see ourselves in others. We have all been at our worst at times and it hurts to have the eyes of judgement on us when we are needing support and connection.

For the rest of the flight I chatted with this mother. Hearing about her life and personally path was so interesting. We had so much in common. We laughed together over tea as our children played. I can't image how the flight would have been if I didn't shift from judgement to love. As we were getting off the plane the Mom turned to me and thanked me. She said that I gave her such a gift and that she would never forget us. She gave me a hug and in that moment I knew that I had grown as a person.

From that moment on, over a year ago, I have extended the core concepts of Radical Unschooling philosophy to others in my life. It is so much more than a parenting philosophy. It is a Life philosophy. Focusing on others needs, rather than their behavior is a tool of peace and connection that can change the world. I love that my own path brings me into ever widening circles to extend the joy and respect further and further. This spiralling growth is never ending.

The flight home from England was very pivotal and memorable to our family. I can't wait to see who was can help and touch in our next journey overseas. As we take the 30 hour trip to Australia and back, I know it will be fabulous, because no matter what or who we encounter, when we allow love and understanding to guide us, only good will follow.

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” Mother Teresa

Sparkly Anniversary

2010-07-06T11:40:00.005-05:00

Joe and I celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary the other day. Our lives together began when I was 15 and he was 17. We met in high school and skipped classes and went to heavy metal concerts together. We were rebels who were drawn to one another because of our "Fight the Power" attitude.

Today we celebrate the family we started 12 years ago and the lives that we have created for ourselves and our children. We live with a level of Freedom that so few in our culture even know is possible. We are living our Dream and we love to inspire others to do the same.

Here are a few videos that Devin recorded on our anniversary. One is us blowing out our candles on our cake and the other is of Ivy and Orion planting their placentas under a tree on our special day.

Raising the Huntress

2010-06-12T11:48:00.019-05:00

When I was a little girl, I loved catching frogs, fishing and hunting turkeys with my Dad.

We had many swamps in our area and I can remember spending hours hunting and catching frogs with the boys in my neighborhood. Some called me a "tomboy". I loved being with boys, because I was able to connect with a masculine side of myself.

I wanted to be a mechanic as a young girl. I dreamt of being a race car driver too and felt that I could bring to light how skillful women could be on the racetrack and working on engines. To this day the skills that I learned back then pursuing my interests have helped me in so many ways a mother and woman. I am so glad that I had parents to nurture this side of myself so many years ago.

Recently, my daughters have shared a desire that our culture may view as "masculine". Tiff wants to hunt frogs almost every single day. She becomes very focused on the thrill of hunting and catching frogs, and snakes and I can feel how much this meets a real need within her!

Hunting is the first thing she has mentioned when she wakes up and the last thing she talks about as she is falling asleep lately. The "Thrill of the Hunt", is something that many girls instinctually feel coursing through their veins.

Yesterday, I brought my daughters "froggin", as I lovingly called it as a child. We hunted frogs for hours around a local pond. We listened as they called each other and discussed the difference between bullfrogs and little pond frogs. I passed on my knowledge about stillness and stealth, and tapped into a side of who I am that was virtually forgotten living in a time in my life where Peace for life leads my inner-being.

My daughters, like many girls, deeply want to connect with their primal roots of hunting. Women have a quiet, respectful way with this sport that few men can understand or appreciate. As a little girl, I always caught more frogs than than the boys whom I hunted with. I had a quiescent way about me that was able to surprise the frogs. The boys in my life were always impressed with my skills, and this is something that I proudly pass down to my girls today as their interest is at its peak.

Honoring a side of ourselves as women to hunt, dominate and catch prey isn't something we should be afraid or embarrassed of. Sharing information with my daughters about a largely male-dominated sport was very empowering. In the same way that I honor my sons desire to cook, sew and garden, I honor my daughters desire to hunt and catch frogs, fish and other creatures.

The desire to hunt is part of Who They Are and it is something that I am learning to celebrate as it is the epitome of Balance in a culture that wants us to lean to either the masculine or the feminine.

Early on in my daughters new interest, I asked myself, "Is hunting peaceful?" I have come to realize that the epitome of Peace for me, is honoring my childrens individuality without judgement. It is my role to respect and facilitate all that they are passionate about and help them reach the depths of Who They Are through respecting their choices.

With that said, I am celebrating the Huntress within, and helping them through honoring their innate desire to hunt. We have a tank full of frogs that they are studying right now that we will soon release to make room for more creatures to hunt, catch and learn about. I am so grateful for this path of love, connection and respect that I have for my childrens interests. I love that walking this path brings me down my own path of childhood again and again.

No Childhood Regrets

2010-06-05T20:10:00.010-05:00

Since the Nightline show aired, I've pretty much stayed away from message boards and discussions about the show. Simply because I know how the majority of people respond to the biased reporting of what they think Radical Unschooling is.

One idea that keeps coming up in the little that I have read from viewers, is the idea that our children will be mad at us, once they are adults, for not forcing them to go through the traditional system. I read many times over the years that once our children are grown that they are going to be so upset that we didn't punish them, or force them to do things that they didn't want to do.

This is such a false projection! This isn't based in personal experience. It is people who were forced to jump through the cultural hoops their whole life and who were parented putatively. They desperately want to believe that what they went through as a child was not only necessary, but that they subconsciously wanted and needed to live the life that they did and that it was their only option.

The people making these comments have never met a grown unschooler in real life. The truth is a very different reality.

A grown unschooler, who is a good friend of mine, wrote on his mothers Facebook page for Mother's Day;

"Another day of many to give thanks for you mother, best of friends. Thank you for your blood, your milk, and your ability to let go, rethink everything and embrace this expansive, fulfilling, experience TOGETHER! Love Unlimited"

I was so touched by Quinn's message to his mother than it really made me think how grateful grown Radical Unschoolers actually are for their childhoods!

I have another dear friend, who has always been Unschooled. He is 21 and his Facebook photo is a one of him and his mother with their arms around one another. I think it is beautiful!

Another beautiful and happy family whom I spent time with who have two grown Unschooled daughters talk to their mother with adoration and love and put their arms around her regularly. The love they have for her is beautiful and infectious. Just being around this family made me proud to be living the life we are today.

This does not seem like anger, or regret or any of the results that the mainstream commenter's have predicted will happen with children who are raised this way!

How is it possible to give your child love, respect and kindness and have them, in turn become regretful of this? It simply goes against natural law! The truth is my children thank me for the life I've given them. They are grateful for the respect and love that they live every single day.

I have no worries that my children will wish I was any different than who I am when they were children. In fact, I know they will look back on these days as joyful and right, and in turn live a level of happiness in their adult years that most in our culture never get to experience.

Earth Pride

2010-05-01T18:39:00.006-05:00

Today was "Valley Pride" day in the Mount Washington Valley. It is a special day in which we clean up our neighborhood together, as a community. The girls were really excited about taking part in it this year. We were up early and ventured off up and down the streets near our home and cleaned up the trash. Tiff said it was like an Easter Egg hunt, except we hunted for trash.

As we were walking Ivy said, "This is our neighborhood. We should do this every week to keep it clean!" Now that the kids are older, they are actually taking responsibility for their neighborhood and the Earth! It isn't something that I've ever coerced or dragged them along to do. It is an event that I gave them information about that they choose to take part in because it felt good to them. The kids have always seen me taking responsibility and pride in doing my part in helping to keep our community and the Earth clean. I've always shared why I care about our community and the Earth and they've witnessed the strides I make to do what I see as my part.

There was a celebratory BBQ to end the morning and we all had a great time listening to live music and spending time with others who helped clean up our city and surrounding towns. It was such a fabulous way for the kids to connect with others who felt the way that they did about the Earth and the place that they call home.

Introducing...The Un-Nanny

2010-04-25T07:19:00.024-05:00

Over the last several months, I've begun another chapter of my life. I've been invited into people's homes to help them learn more about Radical Unschooling philosophy. It's much like being an Unschooling Doula, or the "Un-Nanny" for the weekend. I spend time with parents and their kids as they go about their days and when common issues arise, I make mental notes. In the evening we relax and discuss our day and I offer another perspective on how to work in partnership with one another.

Here is some recent feedback from a few parents who invited me into their homes for parenting support.

"Dayna, we can't thank you enough for spending the weekend with us and working with us to a more peaceful path. The time we spent with you changed our lives as a family. I understood RU philosophy on a certain level, but you showed us how to truly LIVE it!" Sharon- Belfast, Maine

"I never knew that two days with someone could improve our family life so much. I now understand what we have been doing "wrong" for so long. Having you see how we interact and then share information with us about it at the end of the day was invaluable. It was so helpful" Dan - Agawam Southwick, Mass.

"Wow! is all I can say about your kindness and insight! I am so glad we hired you to hang out with us for the weekend! Your feedback and support was like nothing we've ever experienced. We used to fight with our kids everyday. Now we are living in harmony. I never knew this type of life was possible. Thank you so much!" Kelly- New York, NY

When I travel to work with families, I bring my family. We stay in a hotel nearby and I spend 6-8 hours a day, for 2 or 3 days, with you while my family explores the area. It's very personal, hands-on support and a fun way that you can experience individualized advice catered to your unique family dynamic and issues. If you so desire, you can spend time with my family as part of the weekend. This is a great way to learn more about a partnership paradigm, through spending time with a family who is already living it! It's one thing to read about RU and a peaceful, connected parenting philosophy, but another to apply it. It can be so challenging, and I am here to help you take what you've learned and bring the peace, joy and connection to your family life.

If you are interested in having me be part of your life for a weekend to help you learn more about Radical Unschooling and respectful, peaceful parenting, just drop me an email here. We are willing to travel anywhere in the world to support others on their path.

This just may be the most leading-edge way to learn about how to shift your life from fear and control, to peace and connection with your family!

Backyard Archaeology

2010-04-23T15:20:00.007-05:00

Our home was built in 1926. A large farmhouse was on our property before our home was here and it was destroyed by a fire in the early 1900's.

We were digging in the yard yesterday and began finding old railroad ties, old silverware and thick, unusual pieces of glass. We've only dug in a very small area of our yard and have found so much already!

We've begun researching the history of this area and we are all so curious about why there are railroad ties buried here! I wonder what was here hundreds of years ago? The answers may be right under our feet!

We are so excited to continue digging over time and learn more about this area and our land. The anticipation of what we could find excites us all!

Being Present

2010-04-23T14:44:00.008-05:00

As an Unschooling parent, I learn so much alongside my children. I do not pour knowledge into them as the "all-knowing" wise one, or hover over them simply observing as they follow through with activities that I dictate. Our life isn't like that.

Our life is a dance of authentic connection and respect.

It's important that my kids see me learning, growing and pursuing my passions and interests, as well as nurturing theirs. Sometimes it is hard to surrender to my creative side. I've pretty much mastered being present with my kids at this point in our Unschooling lives. It can be harder sometimes for me to be Present with myself.

What does being Present truly mean?

For some people it is a way of life. For others it remains a mystery and a challenge, while for yet others it’s an unfathomable concept. Over the years I’ve come to more fully appreciate the underlying dynamic that ‘being present’ evokes. My current understanding is that a first aspect is to ‘be present with yourself in your experience of the moment you’re in'. The deeper aspect is about inviting our ‘inner presence’ into our lives. This requires a whole lot more than merely being physically present.

Some ways in which I practice being Present is doing Kundalini Yoga, painting, being out in nature and focusing on my inner body while exercising. Our minds are only a tool. They aren't *Us*. Most people in our culture spend their time either thinking about the past or worrying about the future. This is a way of living on autopilot. It takes a conscious effort to connect with our Inner Beings and who we really are and step out of our minds and simply Be in the Now.

By inviting ourselves ‘to be present’ moment to moment, we tune in to a higher frequency of awareness. We open to a state of curiosity, creativity and wonder. And, in so doing we partner with life and our sub-conscious mind to show us more of who we truly are. We invite our spirit, our essence, our core being into our life. And the moment our Spirit joins in, that is when we Sparkle!

The Rice Experiment

2010-04-16T14:26:00.007-05:00

For the last month our family has been working on an experiment. It is called, The Emoto Rice Experiment and it is based on the work of Masaru Emoto, author of the book, Messages from Water, (and of What the Bleep do we Know!? fame).

Emoto believes that since people are 70 percent water, and the Earth is 70 percent water, we can heal our planet and ourselves by consciously expressing love and good will towards water.

Masaru has done several experiments where he proves the direct result of positive energy, meditation, and positive intention towards the shape of ice crystals.

Masaru suggests trying out his theory with this simple experiment. Cook some rice and add it to two containers. On the first you write, "Thank You - I love you" and on the second you write, "I hate you - You Fool". Make sure you seal the jars or containers.

Every day pick up each jar at least once, and say what is written on the jar. When I spoke to the jar, I tried to really feel the emotions too. (I even kissed the loved jar a few times. The kids thought this was so funny. ) It took over a week before we started seeing any mold or fermentation.

After only a month, our results are amazing!

The "loved" rice is as white and fluffy as the day I put it in there. The "hated" rice is fermenting and molding. This experiment has been mind blowing to us! It truly shows how powerful our thoughts and words are. Imagine treating those you love with kindness and gratitude and how this affects them both physically and emotionally. Also consider what effect hate and negativity can create in our lives.

This experiment is something you have to see to believe. Try it! It's a fabulous way to learn more about the Power of Intention. Our children are greatly affected by our words and thoughts toward them, as this experiment shows. What kinds of energy are you sending to your kids?

Time for Peace, Passion and Gratitude

2010-04-09T07:48:00.007-05:00

One of the benefits for my children living this life is the time they have to discover new passions or to pursue and build on old flames of interest. Meditation is a natural state for my kids when they are really engrossed in something they love to do. I think it can be for all humans. We are meant to visit that state of contentment, peace and bliss. It isn't very often in our culture that children are given time to really find themselves in this way.

I am so grateful that my children can live their peace through a life of having plenty of time to do what they want when they want to.

Recently, Devin has been baking a lot! He has learned so much about making breads from all over the world. Bread-making is something he learned from my mother from England. She shared her love and Devin now uses this love as his "secret ingredient". He loves to share his bread as an extention of his love for others.

Tiff is into cake decorating and making our home beautiful. She adorns our walls with cheerful works of art and creates sculptures for all all to enjoy. She is also an animal lover and because of her intense passion, we have gained many new family members in the last few months! Rabbits, chickens, fish, a turtle and a part-time snake.

Ivy is my little Zen master. She exhibits a calmness and strength about her that many adults take years to learn. She craves calmness, and quiet. She loves to when I read to her alone in her room, and loves to do yoga.

Orion loves big trucks and nursing. He is my constant companion and is learning so much from being on me, living life by my side.

Since beginning this blog years ago, I look back at the images and see how much my family has grown. I have such love and gratitude in my heart for all that we have experienced and have yet to experience together on this wonderful path of peace, love and Joy.

Thank you for reading and for being the "observer" of our life. We are happy to have you part of our family in this way.

Unschooling Report Card

2010-04-07T08:09:00.011-05:00

We live in the country and the nearest pediadontist is over an hour drive away. Whenever the kids have dentist appointments we combine it with a trip to Chuck E Cheeses.

They have a promotion where they award kids with tokens for good grades. It felt dishonest for me to grade my kids on traditional subjects where we don't live life in that way.I came up with the idea for the "Unschooling Report Card" To me it is such a statement of what we value.

I love that we can support our kids and promote the things that truly matter to our family on this awesome path of Radical Unschooling!Update! Chuck E Cheeses honored the kids Radical Report Cards! She even read them and exclaimed "Cool!".

The Revolution Continues...

Embracing Springtime Floods

2010-04-03T08:25:00.004-05:00

Every year, when the snow melts our backyard floods. Years ago it would bother me so much! I couldn't wait for the pond to be gone so we could have our yard back. It always felt so upstream to get frustrated with nature. I remember the days where my emotions were so easily pliable that if it rained out, I could be thrown in a downward spiral of emotional turmoil.

My children make the best out of any situation. They also have a positive attitude and live in acceptance for what Is. After I had children, I began to see things through their eyes. If it would rain, they would exclaim that it was good for the flowers. If it would snow they'd cheer because they could go sledding. If we lost power in a storm they loved being able to live by candlelight and cook our food on the fire.

My children have taught me so much about unconditional love and acceptance. If as parents we are open to learning from them we grow in so many incredible ways as human beings. I am so grateful for all that my children represent to me in this world.

Here are Tiff and Ivy, making the best out of our yearly springtime flooding. Seeing their ability to go with the flow and focus on the Joy of everything around them inspires me daily.

The Birth of a New Passion

2010-03-30T19:00:00.006-05:00

Devin has delved into a new passion. Wooden Jewelry making!

He recently designed a unique set of earrings for me. I love them! You can actually count the rings in the wood to reveal it's age. He said the energy of the tree is still in them, so I can draw strength from them when I need them. I thought this was such an amazing idea for jewelry.

He is in the process of designing necklaces and bracelets with the same concept. He will be selling them on Etsy.

I've began researching how to nurture this passion more. We've visited jewelry making websites and purchased tools and cool clasps and accessories.

It's so exciting when you are on the cusp of a new passion, interest or endeavour with your children. You never know where it may lead.

Violence as Connection

2010-03-30T14:18:00.018-05:00

I remember the excitement in the air when someone would announce that there would be a "fight off the bus". It always involved someone I knew and and I always knew who would win. You only hoped it wasn't you that a bigger kid pointed to and said, "You're dead!" before the bus pulled down your road.

One afternoon I walked outside to see who was around to hang out with, and there was a huge circle of people, all sitting on the grass. There were young children and toddlers on mothers laps. Kids playing ball on the same lawn, half-paying attention. Everyone was positioned respectfully so that there was enough room in the center, for the two boys to fight with enough space.

Their mothers looked on as the 13 year old boys punched one another. Blood was flying, and there were gasps and cheers. At the end of the fight the loser was ridiculed by his mother. At the time, I knew how insane the whole thing was and couldn't believe that everyone seemed so comfortable with it. I accepted it, but always wondered how those mothers could just sit there and watch their children beating on one another. I knew in my heart even back then, that I wouldn't be one of those mothers.

Fighting was the backdrop of many of my childhood memories. I've been in many fights myself. Sometimes I won, and sometimes I lost, bloody, holding back the tears. Threats and violence were part of everyday life in my community back then. These memories are intense and vivid and they give me the gift of sharp contrast to what my children are living today.

It's funny, because looking back, I loved living in the city. It was exciting and I felt part of a close knit community, even though there was so much violence. Fighting was connection. Fighting was intimate. The high of becoming friends with someone after they kicked your ass was an incredible right of passage. If you could survive the ass-whooping with dignity, you never really lost. Maybe you lost the fight, but you gained respect to have the balls enough to not run off crying in the face of a threat.

People might look at me now and read in disbelief that I used to be a child who threatened others and started fights. They might shutter at the idea that I even carried a gun as a young adult. Luckily my life began to shift before I was part of that level of violence. I chose to walk in the other direction.

Helping others understand and have compassion for those growing up in a similar way is something I am learning more about. By sharing my Truth and my life as a young person, I can give others a glimpse into what it was really like to grow up like I did, and the emotions behind what some people just see as violence and negativity.

When you can open your heart to understanding that many kids today who are choosing violence are only doing so to protect themselves and not become a target of others, you can see violence in a new way. Violence isn't violence to those in the midst of it. It's life. It's only when we step out and are exposed to a more peaceful way of life that the shroud is lifted and we see the Peace and Joy that is an option for all of us.

When we can open our hearts to everyone on this planet and know that everyone is doing the best they can with what they know at the time, we can shift to acceptance and love for one another. We can embrace those that we think are very different than ourselves. We can shift from fear and judgment to connection, and by doing so we can live peace on a whole new level.

As Real As It Gets

2010-03-26T21:40:00.033-05:00

Becoming more and more public, I get a lot of feedback about my life. Recently someone posted that my life seemed so great, that they didn't believe me that my happiness was Real. Having come from the past that I have, and the journey that I have made to have a happy life, I decided that it was time to share a bit more about myself, so that maybe others can understand more about who I am and where I have from come from to get to the place that I am in my in life today.

I grew up in a city, in a housing project in New Hampshire. I lived with my step-father and Mom and we had a pretty normal life. My Mom was always loving and supportive. My step-Dad was young, and hit us a lot. When you don't know any different, it isn't something you necessarily suffer though. It just Is.

Around the age of 14, my Mom left my step-Dad. My brother and I chose to stay with him. My step-dad won custody of us and it was actually the first case in New Hampshire history where a step-father won custody of children over a biological father. My step-dad ended up with a real bitch of a woman who worked in a strip club. It was only a couple months since my Mom left, and this psycho woman made us call her "Mom", or she'd hit us with a belt. She abused me until I couldn't take it anymore and I ran away. I still remember calling a cab from a friends house and laying down in the back of it absolutely petrified that she would see me leaving. I was scared for my life.

My biological father took me in for 2 months, and this is when I met Joe, during the short time that I lived in this area. I would have never guessed then that I would end up living up here and raising a family, and be on the path we are now! Anyway, my father was an alcoholic and after intense emotional and occasional physical abuse from him too, I ran away again. I began drinking and smoking weed, and I even contemplated suicide. I can vividly remember trying to decide on the best way to end my life. It was a very hopeless time in my life.

I ended up in a psychiatric hospital for troubled teens. I gained a lot of useful tools there, but it was also so hard and I felt like I belonged no where. No one would take me in. My life was turned upside down. I was still a kind, loving person inside, but I was viewed as so terrible because of my past behavior and because I wore all black and listened to heavy metal music. My music was all I had and it comforted me. I felt validated when I listened to it. It was everything to me during that time in my life.

One time in the hospital, I was put in a padded room for getting very upset during a therapy session because I was accused of killing cats. The therapist said, that's what people that listened to heavy metal did.. She wouldn't believe me that I would never do such a thing. I remember looking out the little plexi-glass window of the padded room as the nurses stared in at me, observing me. It was very surreal. My heart was empty and as a 15 year old girl, lost. I felt hopeless and decided that when I was released, I would go forth and end my life. I couldn't take the pain anymore.

During the end of my time in the hospital, my Uncle contacted the place, and offered to take me in. I was so grateful! I moved in with him and my aunt and had a new outlook on life. I felt hope for the first time in years. In the beginning, living there was good, but things went downhill fast. My Uncle, who gave 2 years of his life to raising me learned that his wife was having an affair. He was devistated and moved out. I had to stay with her. It was like having a room mate, which was nice in some ways. She had me get drugs for her from school, and this went on for a very long time. She'd buy me Jack Daniels and I'd get her drugs. It was a nice set-up for a 15 year old alcoholic. I drank and smoked weed all the time. I slept with a lot of guys, for a little love. I didn't value myself or my body at all. It was just the way it was.

One night partying with a bunch of friends, I was raped by a man in his 30's. It wasn't like you'd imagine, from seeing rape in the movies. I didn't fight. I froze and left my body. I felt nothing. The guilt for feeling nothing of the experience haunted me for years. Wasn't I supposed to felt something? Pain? Anger? Fear? I know now that it was a survival mechanism and I was able to emotionally leave the experience.

During these years of turmoil and tragedy, I suffered from anorexia. I know it was a way to control something in my life. I also witnessed the horrific death of a friend right before my eyes. In addition, I was arrested in Bermuda trying to bring drugs into the country. I guess you could say my teen years weren't very typical, or maybe they are more typical in our culture than most of us know.

I'm sharing this part of myself for a few reasons. In order for me to continue on my path of a public advocate, speaker and writer, I need those that follow me to truly *Know* me. I'm not perfect. I'm not putting up a front of being Joyful all the time. I've had enough strife in my past to choose to never live in sadness again, or take anything for granted.

After someone goes through what I have in life and have been to the depths of hell on so many levels, this sometimes propels them to strive..... really strive for peace, joy and contentment in life. The contrast of my life now and my life then is indescribable.

The Joy I share is Real. It is true and honest and from my heart. I know that I have the power to create my own life and I do, everyday with my family. The *Me* you read about here, in my book and other places, like Facebook, is truly Who I Am, but in order for others to really understand my expression of endless Joy today, you must first understand where I came from and who I was then.

If I can get to this place living the life of my dreams after where I came from, you can get to the life of your dreams, no matter where you come from! I'm here for you, to offer support, love, and understanding if you ever need it.

So, here I am.... this is as Real as it gets....

Maybe a person can only be as happy as I am by going through all that I did... Maybe anyone can feel Joy and Gratitude as profoundly as I do, regardless of their past. Either way, it's Real. It's True and It's Me.

I take full responsibility for my life then and now. I do not blame anyone for what I went through back then, because I know now that everyone was doing the best they could with who they were at the time. My mother, Darlene and I are very close today and I know that if neither of us went through such sadness back then we wouldn't be who we are together now. Friends....sisters.... and one another's biggest supporters.

I am so proud of all that my family has been able to go through together and apart, and be able to come out on the other side of pain and sadness as the joyful, kind and and loving people that we are today. Thank you God/Universe for the life I lived. If I could go back, I wouldn't have changed a thing, because everything was a lesson that I grew, learned and benefited from in the broader perspective.

Thank you for listening.

In Gratitude, Dayna

My New Vision Board

2010-02-21T15:36:00.017-05:00

A vision board is a visual representation or collage of the things that you want to have, be, or do in your life. It consists of a poster or foam board with cut-out pictures, drawings and/or writing on it of the things that you want in your life or the things that you want to become.

The purpose of a vision board is to activate the law of attraction to begin to pull things from your external environment that will enable you to realize your dream. By selecting pictures and writing that charges your emotions with feelings of passion, you will begin to manifest those things into your life.

This is just the start of my new vision board. Creating another one was very empowering. It's been over 3 years since I made my first one. Everything that I truly desired came to me from that first vision board in one way or another. I'm so grateful to have learned about this awesome tool years ago.

I won't get into details of everything that I chose to add to my vision board. Some of it is symbolic and known only to me and my family. Some of it is more obvious. I loved the process of getting a visual on some ways that I want to expand and experience my life. It looks so pretty hanging on the wall too. I love it!

~Dayna

Devin's Video on Costa Rica

2010-02-21T15:20:00.004-05:00

Our family has a trip planned for this September. We are going to Costa Rica to visit an old friend of mine. He owns a hotel and tour business there and invited us down for a vacation.

All of our kids love to travel. It is a big part of their lives and some of the most memorable times together as a family are on the road traveling to places that introduce us to another way of looking at things, or another way of life. We love trying new foods and learning about the animals, flora and fauna of the area.

Devin is really excited about this trip and he made a video last night after researching Costa Rica. He combined two interests of his. Movie making and traveling. He is most looking forward to the animals and insects there. He made this movie because he wanted to and it was something he was interested in and passionate about.

He even picked out Costa Rican music to go with his video.

He Plays for the Trees

2010-02-17T14:11:00.007-05:00

Devin and I were laying in bed last night talking and laughing. He was asking me about something he read online about the world ending in 2012. He shared that although he didn't believe the world would end then, it scared him to think about.

It's pretty heavy to talk to your child about things like death sometimes. Especially when you can so relate to what they are feeling. I explained my own journey about how I came to feel more comfortable with death over the years. I also shared how when I was younger I was much more afraid of certain things than I am now. I empathized and validated the best that I could with him.

I shared my feelings on how every living thing is connected and how we never really die. He's heard this before from me, but he understood it on a deeper level last night. He hugged me and I tickled his back. He cried a little and said that he never wanted us to be apart as a family.

I told him that we would always be together and he said that when we died he hoped we all would become trees in the forest. We laughed and shared what kinds of trees we will be.

This morning Devin woke up and began gathering a few things to bring outside.

When I went out to see him, he was laying beneath what he calls his *favorite tree*. He was barefoot on a blanket and playing his recorder while looking up at the tree. When I asked him what he was doing he told me that he was playing music for the tree. He said, "After all, this tree is family."

My Role

2010-02-16T21:47:00.007-05:00

As a mother to Four Unschooled children, it's important for me to take my role as my kids Learning Facilitator seriously. When my kids show an interest in something, I need to jump on it and do all that I can to get their questions answered and bring as much of the World into their lives as possible in a way that they each desire. I offer options to learn more about whatever they are interested in.

Yesterday Devin asked me what Sea Shells were made of, and where they came from. I didn't know all the details of the answer, but knew that I needed to find out. His need to know these questions, led to his siblings needing to know the answers also.

As an Unschooling parent I know that I do not need to know all the answers, but I do need to know how to find out all of the answers.

I jumped online and began researching all that I could about Sea Shells. I dug through our own personal resources and found a big box of Seashells in our attic that were given to Devin from my Uncle Kenny. My Uncle gave Devin his lifetime collection of seashells. I tucked them away in our attic and it was so nice to be able to pull them all out when my kids wanted to learn about them.

Here are some pics of the kids learning about Seashells. We are fortunate enough to be taking a trip to Costa Rica in September and we will all be snorkeling and living in the jungles and beaches for two weeks, totally primitive! No luxury hotels, no room service... We are literally living in the Rain Forest among the most endangered of animal species on the Planet.

-I can't imagine a more rewarding role than as an Radical Unschooling parent!

Radical Bean Mosaics

2010-02-16T17:48:00.005-05:00

Today was a snowy day here in New Hampshire. It was the perfect day to make a big batch of potato leek soup and do an art project.

I pulled out several bags of dried beans and rice and scoured the Internet for something fun to do with them.I came across the idea to make Bean Mosaics. The kids all loved the idea. I called Joe over from the shop and asked him if he could bring over some scrap wood and wood glue. I separated the beans by color. The kids each painted their entire piece of wood with glue and began creating. I asked Devin and Tiff if they wanted to see a pictures of mosaics online before getting started, but they said they would rather just "create something from their own minds".

Together they made 8 different mosaics. It was a lot of fun, and Tiff suprised me and cleaned up all of the beans and rice after we were finished. Just another *day in the life*.

Wasted Food

2010-02-16T09:39:00.006-05:00

Someone recently posted a question to my yahoo group:

"My daughter will constantly ask for food but not finish it or will ask for something, take a bite or two and then say she wants something else"

My response:

The overall reason why I wouldn't make a big issue out of this is because I choose connection over a power struggle. I choose the make our relationship the first priority over worrying about "wasted" food. The cultural idea of wasted food is a very conditioned way to look at a situation like you shared. Our parents and their parents lived in a very different mindset about these things. It was very much "parent-led eating and meals" back in their day.

In regards to food, I find ways to meet my children where they are and get creative.
I've thrown foods that they haven't finished in soups, or salads, for the next meal, if I don't feel like eating their leftovers that day. Or I throw what they didn't eat in the fridge, or give it to our birds. We have friends whose dog gets all the kids uneaten things. We also compost. It's all part of our great circle of life and usage of food. ;)

For dinner Tiff, 8, takes more food than the other kids. She usually puts everything on her plate that she can fit. She never eats it all, but she loves the look and feel of abundance on her plate. I don't try to change her, but support her in her needs. She enjoys feeling that she has more than enough and it is a secure feeling to her. There are times when one of us will kindly ask her to leave enough of this or that for everyone, she does. Also, I will just wait and let everyone else take what they want because I know I will just eat the potatoes on her plate that aren't finished.

Our children are aware that as a culture we are very fortunate regards to food. We discuss poverty and starvation in the world and their gratitude for their life is apparent. They are very aware children. I do not try to make my children feel bad for their abundance and guilt them into finishing what is on their plates.

I like to be flexible and understanding and go with the flow. Food, like money, is only energy. There is always enough and I never feel like any of it is wasted. Every use of it is of value.

Children don't eat like adults usually. They have a unique way of experiencing foods and eating. I embrace this about my kids and meet them where they are. I am the one who can choose to connect with them and find ways to get creative, or I can Choose to force and coerce them to eat like I think they should and in turn have negativity and power struggles over mealtimes and snacks. I choose to observe their choices, help them get what they want and respect how they choose to interact with their food.

In my opinion no food is never "wasted". If the money is already spent, what difference does it make whether or not you child eats it, or the raccoons and rats at the dump do? Seriously, I love the fact that we are feeding the wildlife and insects with whatever we don't eat. I never see anything my kids don't eat as "waste". I feel such a part of every living thing and know they we are feeding an extention of ourselves in whatever living thing consumes what we don't eat.

You'll never hear me tell my kids to "clean their plates", or that there are "starving kids in China", like many of us were told as children. I will always honor how much they choose to consume and then be joyful in giving our food back to the Earth in a respectful, loving way.

Life Rocks!

2010-02-15T22:26:00.003-05:00

The date for the Life Rocks! Unschooling Conference Cruise has been set!

Join us on April 3rd, 2011!

You are invited to sail on board the Freedom of the Seas ship, and visit four different exotic locations with other Unschooling families! This is the ultimate, all-inclusive vacation within an unforgettable Unschooling Conference! Swim with the Stingrays in Grand Cayman, Visit Mayan Ruins or swim with the dolphins in Cozumel, Mexico, Enjoy a blissful day at our private water park on the beach of Haiti, Climb Dunns River Falls in Ocho Rios, Jamaica and explore jungles, ancient cities and beaches

Living on a boat for a week gives you a different perspective on life and the world itself. You can actually see and feel how much water is out there - how huge the ocean is -and by sailing on it, you gain such reverence for the Earth in a new way.Give your family as Big of a World as Possible... Travel and see the new places, different cultures, learn, grow and explore together..... with your Unschooling tribe!

If this interests you, read more about the cruise for April 2011 here.

Borders Magic!

2010-02-15T21:01:00.007-05:00

On our way to Ohio last week, we stopped at a Borders Bookstore in New York. We found my book on the shelf and it was so surreal...

To actually see the book *in* a store, and not just in bookstores online was an amazing feeling.

Joe took a photo to always remember how special it was for us to see my book, "Radical Unschooling: A Revolution Has Begun", with a picture of our family.

Supporting Their Passions

2010-02-15T16:57:00.002-05:00

Devin has recently began playing the online game World of Warcraft. I posted his new passion as a Facebook update and received some pretty surprising comments! I even had a long-time friend "unfriend" me for our choice to support Devin's passion. It seems that video game play brings up some intense emotions for some people.

Devin's new interest has branched off in wondrous directions! He has a new found skill creating weapons from materials that you can find in any hardware store. Here is a picture of what he calls a "double-sided blunt weapon" created from PVC pipe, a pool noodle and duct tape. He wants to make and sell these at the next conference we attend. (He is a natural-born entrepreneur.)

I recently read a few quotes online about the game World of Warcraft that I wanted to share,

"Researchers who gathered in Boston for the American Psychological Association convention detailed a series of studies suggesting video games can be powerful learning tools — from increasing younger students' problem-solving potential to improving the suturing skills of laparoscopic surgeons.

The research found the game encouraged scientific thinking, like using systems and models for understanding situations and using math and testing to investigate problems.
The vast majority of the discussion participants, 86 percent, shared knowledge to solve problems and more than half, 58 percent, used systematic and evaluative processes, researchers found.

The forums show that gamers are "creating an environment in which informal scientific reasoning practices are being learned," said Sean Duncan, a doctoral student who worked on the "World of Warcraft" report with lead author Constance Steinkuehler."

Our New Radical Unschooling Bumper Stickers!

2010-01-21T21:34:00.007-05:00

I designed these Radical Unschooling bumper stickers just for Radical Unschooling families!

Choose the one you love the most and embellish your car with pride and celebrate your amazing life of Freedom and Joy with your family!

These are the best quality bumper stickers available. They won't rip or bubble and peeling them off your car is easy.

Pick up yours here today!

Rockin' the Slopes

2010-01-14T19:54:00.004-05:00

Living in the White Mountains, there are ski resorts all around us. This is the first year that the kids have tried skiing with our local homeschooling group. Joe is a volunteer with the program, so every Thursday the three of them hit the slopes together.

The winters here are long and hard at times. We have snow on the ground for about 6 months out of the year, so I am so happy that the kids found a new passion! They look forward to every Thursday where they can be outside learning and growing and challenging themselves.

Don't Kill Your TV!

2010-01-10T14:13:00.013-05:00

I was laying in bed nursing Orion down for his nap today while I watched Anthony Bourdain, "No Reservations" My heart began to pound excitedly as he shared about his travels through Egypt. The food, the people, the culture... Having this amazing visual window into the world is a tool unlike any other available in our human existence.

As I watched, while snuggling my son, I became inspired to share the *Truth* about TV.

I clicked through the channels and I was introduced to Italian cooking, survival skills in the wild, and infectious Salsa music. I became inspired by stories of hope and brought to tears by the beauty of the Grand Canyon, Niagara Falls and the Florida Everglades. I watched beautiful dance, gymnastics and mountain climbing. I saw true human passion and triumph. I saw Excitement, Joy and Love. I was inspired to travel, to do, to see and experience.

This window into possibility and potential is an such an amazing tool in our lives and one that I can't imagine living without.

There is a lot of anger surrounding television in the naturally minded community. Articles about "killing your TV" are everywhere and they are so steeped in a fear and misinformation. This same type of witch-hunting, angry mindset was present before the invention of TV with radio and before that comic books. TV has only been popular in homes since the 1950's! It is such a new invention historically and the way that many people react to it is common when something "new" comes on the scene.

When used as a tool for expansion, joy, pleasure and growth, television is as valid and enriching as any book out there! Even more so! I owe so much in my life through being introduced to it through TV.

After my last post, someone commented inquiring about freedom and children and television viewing. When television isn't restricted and parents and children live in a partnership paradigm, rather than the cultural authoritarian paradigm, kids aren't afraid to ask parents questions about topics introduced to them through television. There has never been a time where any of my children were interested in watching something that I "disapproved" of. Most adult programs do not interest them at all, so it is a non-issue. When kids are trusted and supported, the common arguments about TV like, commercialism, addiction and damaging visuals aren't part of the equation. It's like saying, "If a child has a library card, won't they take out too many books and damage their back, or take out something with content that could hurt them?" (Now...doesn't this sound absurd?)

Living a life of Freedom and Respect with my children, I can be a free-thinker. I can see the benefits of things that most people fear. I can bask in the knowing that my children are the proof and no "expert" can fear me into following their beliefs.

Open your eyes people! Stop fearing a tool that could bring so much into your lives! When you let go of the fears of others and see TV for what it really is, a learning tool and window into our amazing world, the shroud is lifted and the life of your family expands in endless directions!

Welcome Buddha!

2010-01-03T17:54:00.005-05:00

I think this has been the longest that I have gone without posting on our blog. It's been a busy Christmas season with our business, Willow Toys. We also have a new addition to our family! A Pug puppy named Buddha. He is the most sweet, loving, perfect dog for us. He fits right in with his Sparkling personality and joyful disposition.

We've waited to get a dog until all of our kids were old enough for me to give a puppy the attention he needs and deserves. I've wanted a Pug specifically for over 12 years. It's been a long-time dream of mine that has finally come true! I've had Buddha on my vision board for over 3 years. He's finally here!

Devin and I drove through a blizzard to get him and our lives haven't been the same since. I never understood the close connection that people had with their dogs, until now. Buddha is 12 weeks old and we all love him so very much!

Welcome to our newest addition... Buddha Blizzard Martin

45 Ways to Say "Yes" to Your Child

2009-11-16T09:15:00.002-05:00

45 Ways to Say "Yes" to your Child
Dayna Martin

affirmative, all right, alrighty, amen, as you say, aye, beyond a doubt, by all means, certainly, definitely, even so, exactly, fine, gladly, good, good enough, granted, indubitably, just so, most assuredly, naturally, of course, okay, positively, precisely, Roger, right on, sure thing, surely, true, undoubtedly, unquestionably, very well, willingly, without fail, yep, sure, why not?, no problem, give the nod, agreed, fair enough, yeah, indeed, absolutely!

Winter Nature Table

2009-11-10T21:26:00.006-05:00

In college I took an Art History class. One of my final projects was a shadow box. I love this form of art expression!

When I make nature tables or shadow boxes, I usually buy new fabric to line it with and add some kind of fun embellishment or two. Once the table is ready we begin to create. We usually only add things from nature, hence the name Nature Table.

Our nature table reflects whatever season we are living. The kids love adding to it over the months with treasures from outside. It is like an evolving, growing work of art that everyone adds to for however long you decide to have it out. I love to honor nature in this way and revel in the beauty of the natural world through this project.

This is our Winter Nature Table

Dream BIG!

2009-11-10T19:59:00.007-05:00

Living the law of attraction, I've learned that my thoughts and feelings greatly shape my life. I also know that I can have anything I want in life, and I do.

I love to share with others that there is nothing wrong with "wanting" in life. The physical things in our lives are simply tools to aid us on our own path to joy and fulfillment. The more tools, games and fun on our life's journey the better! We live a life of choosing things in life both physical and non-physical that make us happy and continue us down our own learning and growing paths.

When my children want something in life, I don't make them feel ungrateful for wanting it because they haven't played with their other toys enough, as was often the treatment many received as children themselves.. As someone who came down a more naturally-minded parenting filter, I can sometimes feel guilty when I have a desire for something cool that I read about or heard advertised somewhere. I've learned to let go of these feelings that I shouldn't want "things". There is such a focus on the "evils' of consumerism" in some alternative circles.

For me it feels natural to "want". Not from a lacking place, but from a place of joy of expansion.
We are wanting beings and will never stop wanting until we die. (This is one of my favorite things that I learned from Ester Hicks about the Law of Attraction.)Everything has two sides in how to choose to view things in life determines so much for your experience.I choose to look at commercials and ads like little windows into human capability and see them as a window into what is available in our world from many sources. I enjoy, rather than begrudge commercials when I see them. It is a choice after all how we decide to look at these things in life.I was sitting on the couch last week nursing Orion. I was watching TV, but from the angle I was sitting I couldn't see the screen very well. I thought to myself that it would be great to have a huge flat screen for that wall someday. I was thinking how good it would feel to be able to fit the whole family on the couch and all be able to see the TV. I also loved the idea of being able to gain more space in the living room because newer TV's are so thin and streamline that we would gain a lot of space from being able to hang it on the wall.

I know that anything in life can come to you when you feel yourself owning it, rather than being in that space of lack because you don't have it yet. Once you have the desire for something, just know that it is coming and celebrate that you "ordered" it, much like ordering a book on Amazon.com.Well, I must have shot one hell of a rocket of desire....Joe went to the dump like he does every Monday. He has a passion for the dump, because he loves finding treasures... One of his favorite sayings is, "Can you believe someone threw this away?!"

Well, can you believe he found a 52 inch flat screen television!?! He found it at the dump and as heavy as it was, got it into the car. When he got home he opened the car door and showed it to me. It seemed so surreal. I couldn't believe it! It was so heavy we could barely carry it in the house, but we managed with the kids help.

It works perfectly. We are grateful to have it come into our life.

When I first shot off my rocket of desire, if I would have thought to myself after, "We can't afford that.." or " We'll never have something like that", I would have shot a second rocket that shot my first rocket down! I believe that I am learning how to really Trust my wanting and my desires in life and let go of the doubts or fear surrounding if I can actually have certain things in life.. Of course... I can have it all!

I knew that I would someday have the tv that I wanted. When I let go of the "how" part of what I want in life and just *know* without a doubt that it is coming, it always does. Always.

Money is only one way to get things we want in life. Our whole family sat on the couch together last night curled up in blankets and enjoyed a movie together. It was like being at the movies!
I love that I create my own reality. I am so grateful for our new TV and all that the world holds for us.... Life Rocks!

Dream.....Dream Big!

Bermuda the Beautiful!

2009-10-31T07:36:00.004-05:00

It was around 7am and I woke up on the ship and looked out of my window to see land in front of us. I quietly woke up Joe and he and I both gazed out of the window in amazment as we approached Bermuda. It was exquisite and I had a tear in my eye as my heart filled with Gratitude that we were on this adventure together. Bermuda was the highlight of our trip and to step off the ship with the families in our group and see all of the kids so excited was a better feeling than Christmas morning to me. It was just awesome....
Everyone had a great time snorkling, shopping and just being together as an Unschooling Community in a far away place.

As part of our first day in Bermuda, I spoke at a community center to a dozen or so families about Unschooling and respectful, peaceful parenting. One of the Bermuda residents invited me to come speak months before the cruise when they heard I was coming. I signed books and gave hugs. It felt so good to be there sharing my passion with others. It was a great experience!