Wasted Food

Someone recently posted a question to my yahoo group:

"My daughter will constantly ask for food but not finish it or will ask for something, take a bite or two and then say she wants something else"

My response:

The overall reason why I wouldn't make a big issue out of this is because I choose connection over a power struggle. I choose the make our relationship the first priority over worrying about "wasted" food. The cultural idea of wasted food is a very conditioned way to look at a situation like you shared. Our parents and their parents lived in a very different mindset about these things. It was very much "parent-led eating and meals" back in their day.

In regards to food, I find ways to meet my children where they are and get creative.
I've thrown foods that they haven't finished in soups, or salads, for the next meal, if I don't feel like eating their leftovers that day. Or I throw what they didn't eat in the fridge, or give it to our birds. We have friends whose dog gets all the kids uneaten things. We also compost. It's all part of our great circle of life and usage of food. ;)

For dinner Tiff, 8, takes more food than the other kids. She usually puts everything on her plate that she can fit. She never eats it all, but she loves the look and feel of abundance on her plate. I don't try to change her, but support her in her needs. She enjoys feeling that she has more than enough and it is a secure feeling to her. There are times when one of us will kindly ask her to leave enough of this or that for everyone, she does. Also, I will just wait and let everyone else take what they want because I know I will just eat the potatoes on her plate that aren't finished.

Our children are aware that as a culture we are very fortunate regards to food. We discuss poverty and starvation in the world and their gratitude for their life is apparent. They are very aware children. I do not try to make my children feel bad for their abundance and guilt them into finishing what is on their plates.

I like to be flexible and understanding and go with the flow. Food, like money, is only energy. There is always enough and I never feel like any of it is wasted. Every use of it is of value.

Children don't eat like adults usually. They have a unique way of experiencing foods and eating. I embrace this about my kids and meet them where they are. I am the one who can choose to connect with them and find ways to get creative, or I can Choose to force and coerce them to eat like I think they should and in turn have negativity and power struggles over mealtimes and snacks. I choose to observe their choices, help them get what they want and respect how they choose to interact with their food.

In my opinion no food is never "wasted". If the money is already spent, what difference does it make whether or not you child eats it, or the raccoons and rats at the dump do? Seriously, I love the fact that we are feeding the wildlife and insects with whatever we don't eat. I never see anything my kids don't eat as "waste". I feel such a part of every living thing and know they we are feeding an extention of ourselves in whatever living thing consumes what we don't eat.

You'll never hear me tell my kids to "clean their plates", or that there are "starving kids in China", like many of us were told as children. I will always honor how much they choose to consume and then be joyful in giving our food back to the Earth in a respectful, loving way.