Friday, August 1, 2008

Balancing Multiple Needs

Living respectfully with our children means that we honor not only them, but all of their belongings. I would never throw something out or give away something that belongs to one of my kids without asking them, just as I wouldn't any of Joe's things.

Devin and Ivy aren't very attached to "things" and can easily part with things once they are finished with them or outgrow them. Dakota, on the other hand, is very attached to all of her belongings. Everything she has ever owned is so treasured by her. She sees and feels that her things are an extension of herself. Being highly sensitive, I can understand this and I honor and embrace this about my little girl.

Lately, Joe and I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed by the sheer amount of baby dolls and stuffed animals coming out of every toy box and closet in the house. It seems disrespectful to just toss her beloved things in a corner messily, or pile them up in a closet just to get them out of our way. We want her to know that we respect and value her belongings as much as we do our own. This is really important to us because we know that she learns how to treat her things by how we treat them.
I also really wanted Dakota to be able to see all of her treasured babies and stuffed animals rather than packing them away neatly in Rubbermaid containers. (that was one option we were pondering but decided against) We want her to feel abundant in all that she has in life. This is important to her, but I couldn't figure out for the life of me how to store them neatly for her (which she also wants) with so darn many.

Yesterday we came up with a mutually agreeable solution for Dakota's beloved friends. Today I spent the day finding a new home for 2 bookcases worth of books. It was a great solution for us and I feel so free and light. I knew we would figure something out and it is so nice that every one's needs were met peacefully and respectfully. Sometimes it does take time and work to get here, but it is SO worth it!
Here all of Dakota's treasured babies sit ready to greet her whenever she enters her room. She couldn't stop smiling when we were finished. She is so happy with what we did for her, and so am I. All Is Well in her World today.


brianna said...

Hi Dayna,

I love this! Getting rid of my kids things is one of the biggest regrets I have from before we discovered RU. Since then we've had to be creative in ways to display their things but it feels so good. I'm glad Dakota loves her new display!

Brianna (granolapunk on MDC)

Petra said...

i wish my mum would have respected my things as much. she always gave away stuff (and still does)
my biggest regret is a lovely long winter jacket, slightly out of fashion but it was someting my dad bought me. one of the only things he payed for with his visa card. the other was a pair of boots for me too. i remember when we went shopping and i felt so happy. then last year when i went back to austria to visit my mum she had given my jacket away. gone. just like that. without asking me. she said she thought it didnt fit me anymore. I HAD JUST HAD A BABY of course i was bigger!!!!
this was just too much for me and i cried and felt like a 5 year old again who has no power over her world. im so glad i found this other way of life and wont have to put my son through what i went through.
this has made me sad but reminded me why i want to do what im doig and that it is so worth it.
thank you