Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Brussel Junkie

The whole concept of living a life in a partnership paradigm takes a while for most people to grasp. We were raised to think that control, no matter how subtle, is the way to raise children. Living a Radical Unschooling life proves that there is another way!

I was in the grocery store the other day in the produce section with the kids. Ivy grabbed a bag and started filling it with brussel sprouts. She was proclaiming her love for this food that many adults have a strong aversion to. There was an older woman standing watching us in amazement. Ivy squealed with delight and was singing, "I love my brussels! Ya, ya ya!"

I could see that the woman wanted to say something to me, so I said, "Hello". She said, "Wow, you sure trained your kids well!" She was in awe that a child would eat brussel sprouts voluntarily and wondered how I made her like them. That somehow it was my creation having a child adore brussel sprouts. Some strange form of Jedi mind control or something. She said, "What's your secret?"

I told her quite matter-of-factly that I just loved them myself and my daughter wanted some of that Joy. I told her she was never made to eat them and wondered what all my enjoyment was about. The woman looked puzzled at my response, but smiled.

It is amazing to most people that through living a truly free life, our kids have so many more opportunities and options available to them. When someone is living a life being forced to live someone else's ideals, their future is warped because they loose true choice. Choices are made from a point of a power struggle, and becomes about you/vs them, not the actual thing someone is being forced to to, or eat, or live.

I believe that so many people hate brussel sprouts today because they were forced, coerced and bribed to eat them as children. Just the sight of a brussel sprout brings people back to that place of having no choice or control over their lives. By nature we so want to "win" that power struggle and are making a huge statement of our own power by not eating certain foods as adults.

Ivy loves brussel sprouts because she has always had the freedom to choose. I love them too and I never eat them in enjoyment with the ulterior motive to get my kids to also. This is something that many coming to this life need to understand. Living life in the present, authentically is so easy once we can get rid of all of our cultural armor. Most of us were raised with ulterior motives of subtle control, so this perspective isn't coming from a place of "a new, tricky way to get our kids to do what we want".

The best gift we can give our kids is just to live an authentic life. Communicating respectfully and kindly while shedding the cultural ideas that we must have ulterior motives to "train" our kids can be so freeing and joyful. We have to find *True* happiness and Clarity and then feel it in our body, mind and soul. Once we do, our kids can't help but want in on some of our *Bliss*. Ya, there are ups and downs in life, but no longer are we "in pursuit of happiness".. We are living it in the *Now*. How cool is this life?
~Ivy's Roasted Brussel Sprouts Recipe~
Heat oven to 350'. Melt 1/8 cup of butter in roasting pan. Remove pan and add as many brussel sprouts (rinsed and with ends trimmed) as you'd like and roll them around in the butter.
Add generous amounts of salt and dash of pepper.
Roast for about 20-30 minutes, or until tender and golden brown...
Enjoy! ~Ivy


Carrie at NaturalMomsTalkRadio said...

"We have to find *True* happiness and Clarity and then feel it in our body, mind and soul."

So what's the secret to THAT Dayna?

Danielle said...

Sweet! I get the same thing about how my daughter is such a "good" sleeper. She sleeps 12 hours at night and takes 2-4 hour naps during the day. I've been asked many times how I "get" her to sleep so well. Truth is, I just don't fight with her about it. I put her to bed when she tells me she wants to go "night night". A lot of parents fight with their kids about going to bed, and when it becomes a power struggle like that, then the kids fight sleeping on purpouse. And, as a result, they act out when they are awake, because their bodies haven't gotten enough sleep. My dd is an "angel" when she's awake, and I always get asked how I did that, too, lol.

Dayna Martin said...

-=-So what's the secret to THAT Dayna? -=-

The secret is to pursue our passions every single day. To spend our time doing things we love most of the time.. When we follow our bliss in all that we do, we can't help but be happy! Focus on the positive in all that you do, and live in gratiude and abundance.
Much Love, Dayna

Mon (holistic mama) said...

I was letting my baby see the joy in my face as I listened to the birds. Now, at 8mths she loves to quietly listen to them, because through my experience and her own experience, she has discovered that there is something special there. That's parenting to me.

Enjoying your site.

Autumn said...

Beautiful reminder Dayna. I'll think of you and Ivy yummy up the sprouts (I love them with a little white cheese sauce on top).

kristin at prairiedaze.com said...

i just wandered over from circlesquared and i love this post.

eager to read more.

yes, yes, yes.

Carolyn said...

I've never had a brussel sprout, but I'm going to try Ivy's recipe and share them with my children!
Thank you for sharing!
The thing that continues to strike me as wonderful in your stories is that you react to people in a manner that is endearing them to you, if not right away, I think after consideration later.
Your not rude or crass. You dont act like you have all the answers. You didnt say in a barking voice" I DONT train my children" and sent her scurrying away. Very endearing, very special!