Last week I posted about our families "negative" experience with a karate class. I received an outpouring of support and love which I am so grateful for. It felt so nice to realize how many people care about us.
Since that time, my awareness of the situation has shifted. My inner process has led to reevaluate the experience and see it with new eyes.
I feel that I was riding low on the vibrational scale that week. I manifested the experience, which my sweet friend Elizabeth pointed out to me. I was fearing the situation and fearing that my kids wouldn't be respected and that is exactly what I experienced.
Today, I feel that I could have seen the whole thing so differently. Bringing my kids to a karate class with a karate teacher who was in the military for 7 years, was maybe not the best choice. It would have been like me bringing my kids to school and getting upset that they were being asked to do school work while they were there and feeling a victim for that.
The karate teacher called to me to apologize for singling Devin out and making him feel bad. She was having a hard day herself and was also riding low vibrationally. I know that she was volunteering her time to offer the class to the parents in the group. She also had very specific training to teach kids a certain way. It was a "tough love" kind of approach and this was the only way she knew how to lead the class. She did the best she could with what she knew. I still do not feel that the way to create kind, loving beings is through demmanding obedience, but I know that not everyone shares my belief about this.
The other mothers talking were just blown away that I would not force my child to stay in class. It wasn't about me. It was about them. I was showing an option that maybe they didn't consider before. Maybe because of my actions, they will have the courage one day to do the same for their child.
Sometimes we have what I call, "back-steps" on this Journey. It is easy to sometimes find yourself in the cultural mindset of victimization, especially living a life like this, because so few people parent this way. Our "back-steps" however, are usually followed by enormous leaps forward.
I am still very grateful to have respected my kids choice to leave. I will always support them in ensuring they receive respect. I am grateful for another opportunity to grow, learn and realize that the only person who can make me feel like a victim is myself.