Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Embracing the Gilded Cage

The other day, I noticed that Justin Beiber was on the home page of Yahoo News being accused of stealing someone else's style. This got me curious and led me down a path of accusations toward him that some might believe, but others will feel aren't true. Then, I researched Miley and her new transformation to who she is now, and even she was accused of stealing "twerking," and claiming it to be her own creation. This got me reading gossip and accusations of various celebrities at dozens of websites. With the critical mind that was born with, I know that there is jealousy and competition in every industry or sub-culture, but it is all part of human nature. Gossip, rumors, and lies are born as a side effect of being known. It Just Is.

I have some close online friends who are going through some online bullying and slander issues. (One of which has has a baby who died tragically.) One of them was having a hard time working through it all. It got me thinking about celebrities and how they deal with being on the cover of trash rag magazines and Yahoo "news". Who believes such negativity about others as reality? Well, it is usually those who didn't like or connect with the celebrity to begin with and once they saw something negative about them, they ran with it and continued the gossip and rumors, adding to it with their negative energy. It is human nature and reading negativity validates their feelings. Jumping on the hate-bandwagon is easy and feels good for some. It is, in a sense, community and acceptance - it means we belong to something special - something bigger than ourselves. It is all an act of striving to for good feelings and love.

"Haters," as they are now referred to, are part of any famous person's life. Just do a search for any celebrity you know and there are negative blogs or message boards about them. There is no escaping it. If you don't have haters, you haven't reached your full potential yet and you have some work to do on being yourself and blossoming into your authenticity. It is through the energy of living without fear that haters are attracted to you like flies. If you have 'em, you are doing something right, as Emimem and Winston Churchill said in similar words. When you step into and own the haters as an inevitable part of your life, they can't hurt you anymore. They are, in fact "fans" or "followers" in a twisted sense, because of their focus and obsession with you. 

When I see other blogging-Moms and advocates getting bullied and slandered, it hurts my heart, because I know how they feel. I do want them to know it is a side-effect of being public, though. Justin Beiber and Miley deal with it. It is a choice to put yourself out there and take the good with the bad. Keep in mind that the people you are helping through your work and passion are benefiting so much with all that you share. Not only that, but they are also benefiting if they see hatred and slandering, if that is happening to you also. People love drama and it brings more and more people to your work when others focus on it. It is like a sifting process and those who feel a connection will continue looking into you and those who don't will move along. Also, people  connect with you through what they are reading, as almost everyone can relate to it, whether it is lies or reality, truth or jealously, or just plain cruelty. Stay strong! With connection and support, you can live through it. Not only that, but you can soar through it with grace and dignity. 

"Living on a lighted stage
Approaches the unreal
For those who think and feel
In touch with some reality
Beyond the gilded cage

Cast in this unlikely role
Ill-equipped to act
With insufficient tact
One must put up barriers
To keep oneself intact

Living in the limelight
The universal dream
For those who wish to seem
Those who wish to be
Must put aside the alienation
Get on with the fascination
The real relation
The underlying theme

Living in a fish eye lens
Caught in the camera eye
I have no heart to lie
I can't pretend a stranger
Is a long-awaited friend

All the world's indeed a stage
And we are merely players
Performers and portrayers
Each another's audience
Outside the gilded cage"

As I see this happening more and more to advocates and bloggers who are courageous enough to put their lives out there to inspire and help others, it is important to see it as something that marks a level of success. You have the power to harness the negativity and hatred from others into love and motivation for your to truly blossom into your most authentic self possible. It is through being yourself without fear of judgement that your success and happiness will grow. 

Love, Dayna

1 comment:

Dayna Martin said...

From my author page in reference to this post:

"Unfortunately, a lot of people. It is part of human psychology to believe negative information over positive. Why do you think we have to tell ourselves that we're beautiful and perfect? It's because we believe that we're not. It's conditioned into every one of us from the start... or at least most of us, who had parents with high expectations of their child and low expectations of themselves. Not to mention that the media rarely covers positive stuff, it doesn't get as much attention."
~Tabby Marie Chapman

"I don't tend to believe what I read when it comes to celeb news, at least not after I've thought about it and realized that it's not news and really just a smoke & mirrors act to sell tabloids or keep someone in the public eye...

... as a journalist, I'm sad to say that this also happens in an average paper or news broadcast, pushing an idea or person for whatever end."
~Johnny Lynch