Thursday, March 6, 2008

~Tiffany Rose~

Dakota decided to call herself Tiffany over a year ago. She feels that the name Tiffany suits her much better than Dakota. We have always honored this request as Joe and I both feel that it should be her choice what to be called, no one else's.

I have referred to her as Dakota on this blog since I began it, but today is a turning point for me. I am honoring her request at a new level and although she can't read yet, I will be referring to her as Tiffany on our family blog sometimes.

I have seen Tiffany's bright light inside of her grow since Orion joined the family. She is the most nurturing and loving human being toward him. She treats him like a little Buddha and jumps to help in anyway that she can. She has grown in ways that I can't explain. I have never witnessed such love from one sibling to another.

Tiffany is a very highly sensitive child. She feels everything so intensely. Not many people "get" her. When you have a highly sensitive child it's challenging because most people only focuse on seeing things through cultures filter of "good or bad behavior" and they never take the time to understand *Who She Is*. She feels this rejection and being so sensitive experiences others energy and it hurts her. This has been something that I help her navigate through and understand. She can't help her own intensity. What she needs is UNconditional love and acceptance and for people to look past how she is communicating and hear what she is trying to express and why. I believe that our culture is so focused on "good" behavior that highly sensitive and intense kids are labelled "bad" for something that they can't help at all. It is *Who They Are*. It is one of the reasons so many kids are medicated and have their spirits broken. It seems that to most obedience is the main focus. Not many people take the time to look at the needs under the behavior.
I am so thankful that we are Tiffany's parents so she isn't labelled and drugged.
Since I gave birth to her I have grown as a human being in so many ways. Tif has taught Joe and I patience and understanding on a level that we never knew before. If it wasn't for her I may not be so *Joyful* in life. The contrast she gives our family has been such a gift.

Her *Shine* is so bright. I love everything about her.

So this is to you Tiffany Rose! Thank you for being *You* I am so honored to be your Mommy. I love you so much my sweet girl.


Sierra Mama said...

I think Tiffany Rose is a beautiful name!

Sorry that you have received negative comments from some people. Honoring children is such a foreign concept to many people.

Its nice to read your blog and see your family shining, honoring, respecting and loving each other.

Heather said...

Thanks for the reminders about honoring intensity! I needed those today. And Tiffany Rose is a living doll!

Anonymous said...

I traveled to Greece the summer I turned 9, and I befriended a 10 or 11 year old relative whose "real" name was Athena, but she preferred to be called Nancy. There was no criticism of any sort, everyone just called her Nancy. At least, I don't remember any criticism. (But, with Gerek accents, it was more, Noncy). I think, eventually, she went back to Athena.

Anonymous said...

i am a very intense person.

i cried when i read your post. how wonderful it would have been for someone to accept me the way i was when i was a little girl. perhaps my whole life would have been different including the detour into my 10 year abusive marriage.

i still struggle to find people who accept me for exactly who i am. it's so hard some times.

what a wonderful mama you are.

and blessing on your wonderful birth and baby orion.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps she was a Tiffany in her last life? (if you feel inclined to think that was just my first thought)

Anonymous said...

When I was about five my parents wanted to rename me CharLee. They were hippies of the 70's and I thought it was so cool. But for some reason they didn't start calling me that. We call my daugther Molly, even though her name is Emily. :))

Anonymous said...

My daughter is also my best friend, and she is 9 months old

mindy said...

I tagged you! Check out my blog for the details.

Beverly said...

This post has inspired me for days now. Thank you for sharing your thoughts about Tiffany Rose. They have changed the way I understand my own son and have made me want to honor him more for who he is, exactly as he is.

Deborah in IL said...


I have a friend whose daughter renamed herself two years ago. I've been impressed at how she told everyone about the decision and then just started ALWAYS using her daughter's chosen name for herself, both when speaking to her and when speaking about her, without referencing her "given" name at all after the first few weeks when it was new to all of us. Now we all think of her with her own chosen name.

Perhaps soon you'll feel comfortable enough with Tiffany to let go of Dakota in your signature lines. :)

Deborah in IL