Monday, August 11, 2008

Pushing Through Fear to Trust

Pushing through fear and moving toward trust is a very important aspect of this life we choose to live with our kids. Most of us were raised in a time in human history where we were controlled by fear-inducing tactics from teachers and caregivers. Worst case scenarios were focused on and used to fear us to do what someone else wanted. Think back, I know you can remember just a few instances when this was true. Fear is a tool used to motivate others to do what you want.... and it works really well in doing just that! Mainstream parenting promotes this "tool" to control our kids to meet our needs. Kids believe what their parents say and treat their words as fact and it becomes their Neuro-association with whatever is being connecting with that fear. It becomes part of them.

Using fear to motivate isn't without it's life altering side effects. This is why I choose to move away from this kind of easy tactic with my own children. Those side-effects being us as adults having to get over little nibblets of fear sprinkled throughout our days with our kids. It takes work and effort to get over the fears instilled in us when we were children.

I thought of posting this as the girls were making breakfast this morning. I had those knee-jerk worst case scenario fears whispering at me for the first few minutes of them using very hot pans but I told that voice to shut the hell up so I could allow the voice of *Trust* to sing to me.
Do you know the side effect of trust rather than fear?

Fear = neurotic, irrational fears that plague you for the rest of your life, stunted growth, stunted learning

Trust = Connection with caregiver, amazing confidence, emotional growth, natural learning

Tiff and Ivy just love making breakfast. They make it for the whole family almost everyday.
Devin isn't so much into it right now. He loves to eat though! We are all about big breakfasts here. From pancakes to eggs, to french toast to oatmeal with fruit.. I love to watch them, with confidence create in the kitchen, with me by their sides to support them and give them information, not to control them with fear. In turn they are better cooks that I was at 21 years old. Really! They are gonna just kick ass in the kitchen when they are older because of all of their experience. I am so happy that this passion is able to blossom in my kids.

Must I say it again? Yup.... this life rocks!


Anonymous said...

I love this post. I always love reading about your kids. You should publish a book about them.

I started teaching myself to cook when I was about 11. My mom didn't like it *at all*. By the time I was 14, we were bringing dishes I made to family gatherings, and everyone agreed that I was a better cook than she was! She really didn't like it then, lol.

Anonymous said...

I know this is two years late but if you ever go back and read your comments I want you to know that I LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!! that you let your kids cook. I so enjoy cooking with mine and it makes no sense not to let them.