Saturday, June 5, 2010
No Childhood Regrets
Since the Nightline show aired, I've pretty much stayed away from message boards and discussions about the show. Simply because I know how the majority of people respond to the biased reporting of what they think Radical Unschooling is.
One idea that keeps coming up in the little that I have read from viewers, is the idea that our children will be mad at us, once they are adults, for not forcing them to go through the traditional system. I read many times over the years that once our children are grown that they are going to be so upset that we didn't punish them, or force them to do things that they didn't want to do.
This is such a false projection! This isn't based in personal experience. It is people who were forced to jump through the cultural hoops their whole life and who were parented putatively. They desperately want to believe that what they went through as a child was not only necessary, but that they subconsciously wanted and needed to live the life that they did and that it was their only option.
The people making these comments have never met a grown unschooler in real life. The truth is a very different reality.
A grown unschooler, who is a good friend of mine, wrote on his mothers Facebook page for Mother's Day;
"Another day of many to give thanks for you mother, best of friends. Thank you for your blood, your milk, and your ability to let go, rethink everything and embrace this expansive, fulfilling, experience TOGETHER! Love Unlimited"
I was so touched by Quinn's message to his mother than it really made me think how grateful grown Radical Unschoolers actually are for their childhoods!
I have another dear friend, who has always been Unschooled. He is 21 and his Facebook photo is a one of him and his mother with their arms around one another. I think it is beautiful!
Another beautiful and happy family whom I spent time with who have two grown Unschooled daughters talk to their mother with adoration and love and put their arms around her regularly. The love they have for her is beautiful and infectious. Just being around this family made me proud to be living the life we are today.
This does not seem like anger, or regret or any of the results that the mainstream commenter's have predicted will happen with children who are raised this way!
How is it possible to give your child love, respect and kindness and have them, in turn become regretful of this? It simply goes against natural law! The truth is my children thank me for the life I've given them. They are grateful for the respect and love that they live every single day.
I have no worries that my children will wish I was any different than who I am when they were children. In fact, I know they will look back on these days as joyful and right, and in turn live a level of happiness in their adult years that most in our culture never get to experience.
Posted by Dayna Martin at 8:10 PM