|Tiff and her friend Aliva meeting their idols, "Little Mix"|
For years now, we've be part of a sub-culture. I'd even say it is a sub-sub-culture. We gone deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole as the years have rolled on. What happens when a child of "freak" parents wants to pursue learning all about and immersing themselves into pop culture?
Sometimes we first feel our conditioned response of fear, then we relax and embrace. Why is that?
For many coming from a sub-culture perspective, it would be forbidden, shamed and mourned that part of their child's innocence was stolen at the fate of pop-culture. Many naturally minded parents are well-intentioned in attempting to keep their children from the modern world. I have learned, however, that it is through unconditional acceptance of our children's choices through partnership parenting is walking the sub-sub culture road. To truly connect and continue a strong bond of self-love and trust, we learn to drop pre-conceived ideas and beliefs about everything, including things we may have judged before our children showed an interest in it. We find ways to bring as many resources into our children's lives as possible to learn and grow from based on their interests as the nucleus of their individual learning.
Right now, Tiff is powerfully inspired by the popular band, Little Mix. We found out that they were coming for a Meet and Greet at a mall about two hours away. My friend from New York drove out with her daughter to go with us. Together we brought our daughters to connect with the women whom they love and share their thoughts about how they inspired them. They were nervous about talking with them, knowing that in the moment they may be so nervous that they'd forget what to say. I have the idea to purchase cards and write down how they felt to the band members. The girls loved this idea!
|Here we are in line, having a picnic waiting for "Little Mix."|
|Here Tiff is giving her card and gift to a Jesy, from "Little Mix."|
We waiting six hours and were the first fans there at 10am! You'd think that waiting in line for so long would be torterous, but it was so much fun! I made food to bring with us and we had a picnic and connected with other, "Mixers," (the name of "Little Mix" fans.) It was fun to see the girls connect with other fans and spend hours talking about all that they loved about them.
After meeting the group, Tiff was in tears. She was shaking and so powerfully moved by the experience. She said, "Perrie told me I was 'gorgeous'!" She was soaring!
When I first became a parent, I thought that my role was to keep what I perceived as a negative influence away from my children. I judged those who made choices that I didn't feel were "wholesome" enough. As my children have grown, I have learned that they truly know what is best for them. Many of my past judgements were fear-based. I know that whatever my children are interested in is an extension of themselves and by judging their interests I am judging them. This is not coming from a place of love, but a place of fear. I do not wish this to be part of our relationship.
Radical Unschooling is not neglectful or permissive because we "allow" our children to watch television, play video games or immerse themselves in pop-culture. In fact, it is the greatest example of unconditional love and acceptance that we can have for our children during their teen years.
Thanks for reading! Please share ways in which you have supported your children in their love for something that others, or your past self, has judged as negative.